has anyone else experinced this?

[freddie8605]

I know my story is very long so i will go into depth but just with each issue in different questions. I left home and school at 15years old, i was servely depressed at the time and believed my mum was going to kill me, i know all you can say on here is go talk to a pdoc or a therpist etc but i have never found a doc of any type who hasnt taken me or my family seriously. My mum is convinced i am biploar and when i was younger a doctor friend of  hers said it was most likely was, the promblem is that i dont remember the time that i was megaly high so all i can go on is what others around me say. Is it normal to forget a large part of what happened when you manic? It lasted for over 3 months and then afterwards i sunk into deep depression. i was living with my sister at the time and she was about ready to chunk me out onto the street because i was so high and i wouldnt make sence i would do inaproate things like give money away so i couldnt pay rent, i would stay up all night with loud music and sing and dance. - this is what she told me. appraintly i was convinced my sister had mental illness and i was trying to convince her that it wasnt me unwell but her. has anyone else done this? it was all random there was no events that i can think of that would have make me high and none that would have pulled me out of it so fast. i did move towns about 2 weeks after becoming high. what have your family said when about you when you are manic?  there is this girl who talks to me and is normally mean but when i was high she was so nice to me telling me i am a geiusnes. do anyone here exspeince that? At other times i believe i have been in a mixed state, i have been so creative and my head races with ideas, genuis ideas but so fast i cant catch all of them to right down, yet i have been sleeping most the day and stay up at night, withdraw and be very irraible, stop eating and just cant sit still but stil feel hoplessness and sadness. it would be my most productive time though, i would paint while i am awake, painting after painting for 2 or  weeks on end, and not stoping to do anything else but i will also expseirnece scary things such as robtic giant bugs craw up my walks and disapear into the ceiling and smell blood on my hands and be screemed by everything around me when they all try commiuncating at once - i am never lonely!. has anyone else exspeineced somthing similar? then i have deffernly had depression, self hate, horrble exspierences this girl tells me to kill myself she tells me my boyfriend is gay and that he doesnt love me like she does etc and i believe her every time. because later when she not aroound i kick myself for believing her. about a month ago she told me to overdose on my meds i didnt want to be but she made me in the end, i swear i almost died. when i tell people they think it strange but i dont think its that starnge, do you? i beleive in telepathy and time travel using ports, and teleporting. i almost believe that everything can feel that they have a soul and most of things around me are very angry unhappy things, as i find myself comunicating with them. i am very senstive and i think thats why i was given this misson to spread the word that everything can feel so we can make it a happier place. cant have a shower for over a month now because susan the shower curtin laughs at my naked body and calls me fat.....does anyone have this? everything i have jsut writen all intermengles with everything else too.

[roshiii87]

What you put is classic symptoms of bipolar disorder, as well as psychosis, which is also a symptom (but can also be a "stand alone" illness, which effects mood, concentration as well as social interaction)

I have bipolar too and can relate to most of what you put in your first post, it is possible to self "medicate" your moods using opposing triggers.
For example one of mine is music, music triggers both mania/manic and depression, if im aware of a change ill listen to music, gives you something to subconciously focus on while you conciously don't (if you get me).

Generally the psychosis is to blame for the beliefs you have and the paranoia you suffer on occasion. also the halucinations too.
But id say its safe to assume your psychosis is caused by your mood disorder.
If you need advise or someone to talk / rant to feel free to message me :D

[freddie8605]

Hey yeah, i have really bad concentation at the moment but my mood has been good for this week. Yay!!! i wish i could remember what it was like, it would have been good to tell the doctor what it was like but i onl remember parts of it. and what i remember was all good, i was having a plast.

[ILADVOCATE]

Yes that is common. For me I know it seems like time speeds up in general and I lose the ability to focus and concentrate and remember things. I also have a family member with bipolar that has not started treatment yet and they can also completely block out any emotional memories and suddenly react to them hours or days later without knowing why.