help needed

[Andrewmugsy]

My girlfriend has bi-polar and will not take meds for it, she goes about life thinking there is nothing wrong.she is 50 years old now and over the last 2 years has been getting worse.I try to help her as much as i can but it is never enough.she always says she loves me and i say that too but she is nice one hour then not the next,that close are her mood swings.then every 3 months or so she goes really negative says she does not love me its over for good then sends me on my way to my mothers with bags builds a concrete wall around me,changes her phone numbers,deletes me off social sites and closes all contact,she tells her familly to block me also and they think she is doing the right thing even though it is for nothing,i have tried to tell them how bad she has been over the last 2 years but they just turn a blind eye it seems. I want to help her but do not know how, Im sure that in a few weeks this will be over and she will ask me home but now i am getting depressed because my heart is being broken all the time,i really want to help her.She was put in secure hospital 8 years ago and that was when they first realised she had bi-polar disorder.it is hard to explain this.

[irishwriter]

it is a bit out of order saying 'people with BP are incapable of love and care about no one but themselves.' people are people no matter what illness they might have and that does not make them more or less able to love.  there are many people about whom one could say 'get out before he destroys you' without it having anything to do with BP such closed minded answers should be kept off the board.

Having said that I do agree that in this case the person with BP needs to get a good Pdoc and get some help for herself which in turn might help the relationship

[james361]

Do yourself a favour and walk away make your head rule your heart he will suck the life out of you and when he is done will spit you out and move on to his next victim ,I am convinced at this time that people with BP are incapable of love and care about no one but themselves . Its heartbreaking when you invest so much love and care in someone for it to mean nothing in the end. Get out before he destroys you. Good luck.

[koyama83]

My SO is BP also and for a long time I wanted to help him and felt that it was my responsibility. He has been manic for over 6 months and I am now 8 months pregnant with our son. He has affairs, lies, steels, drinks, gambles, threatens people...I can't really deal with it. I think it isn't worth it. I've tried so many times and he betrays the people closest to him like his friends and family...I'm at the point where he can just learn on his own and get bent.

[vanan_2222]

Hi ,I'm currently having an affair with a bipolar and been experiencing the roller  coaster rides. Many a times she just forgets me only to get back after a few days. Guess its the stress of the relationship . Many a times i guess this is the end but we get back together but each occurrences is so different and new that i just cant paint a pattern to predict . Just 2 days ago , she also forgotten me and I'm back into the hoping and praying seat not knowing when if at all she comes back. Having said the above, is these selective memory loses are temporary for sure and they are sure to come back and what differs the duration which is due to how fast the are back to their stable level to allow the thoughts to sip back in and back to normal so to speak. Pls advice  

[kristimreed]

Hi, I have been diagnosed with bi-polar myself, in reading your post, I was reminded so much of myself and the way I used to be and act. It was very difficult for those who loved me as you love your girlfriend to deal with me. Yet, just like you, they did not give up on me. I used to change my phone number constantly. I have been in and out of the hospital so many times, I can't even count them. But, there is hope. I have been set free. I believe that your girl friend can also be set free from the bondage of bi-polar. Sometimes unfortunately, we have to learn the hard way. I know I did. I stopped taking my meds at times and fell apart. Yet, now I am in a mental health day program, and I am able to encourage others and be a testimant of what I came through and was delivered of. I encourage you to encourage her to get help. Let her know that their are rules and stipulations if she wants to be with you. Set healthy boundaries and let her know what they are. Let her know what the expectations are and that you will help her to carry them out, but that she has to make a choice to get better or grow worse, but that you hope she will choose to get better. Love her and help her, let her know how you feel and let her chose. There is hope and light at the end of the tunnel. I hope this helps.