Hello, I'm an 18 year old girl trying to live with my worsening diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. I've been in a relationship with this guy for a year now and I'm starting to become unsure of how much I want to be with the guy. Of course, because of my BPD I can't tell whether I'm the crazy one or if there actually are problems. So, I should start this off by saying that I'm kind of a sex addict. And by kind of, I mean, when I was single for a year I slept with 17 people. I really love sex, I kind of use it to fill this void I have inside of be honestly. Before I was in the relationship I am now, I dated someone four years older than me (he was 18 i was 14) for two years. All our relationship was was very kinky sex, needless to say it was toxic. But the one I'm in now is a different story. At the beginning, we were inseparable, went out and did activities together, had sex often and it was enjoyable and fulfilling. Now though, it does not happen as much as I want to (we see each other every weekend and it will only happen once??) and when we do it, there's rarely ever any passion. He's kind of lazy about it too. No questions asked I suck his **** everytime it happens, but there will be like a month gap that he won't even go down on me. We sit at his house all day pretty much and just watch TV and he will play video games. If I tell him that I want to do something, he will tell me to find something to do. When I list off suggestions, he shuts them all down. I'm becoming very bored. Not to sound like that girl but I know that I'm attractive. Him on the other-hand, he isn't as attractive but I still fell in love with him. He made me laugh and we always have a good time. Now, we fight often. But when were not fighting, I'm scared to lose him. He's my best friend. Sorry if that was a mess but if anyone has any advice I would love it hear it. Thanks!