What to do when BPD takes distance

[Davy1973]

Hi,
I hope someone can give me some advice.
(My) girlfriend . Is very pushing me away right now. The cause is that she says I put other things on the first place . This is absolutely not true. She is saying very hurtful things when I talk to her. Accusing me about almost everything.I'm so much in love with her. And I know she's missing me too.
My question :
How should I react and should it be me to contact her? Because I know I didn't do anything wrong.

Dave.

[limp21ligit]

What you need to do is distance yourself when this happens and go be on your own for a bit. Its important that you stay focused on your mission in life and don’t depend on her for happiness.  Never be afraid to let her know that, however, I would just let her know through your actions only. Do not tolerate abuse by removing yourself. Let her come to you. Never chase. Never pursue, let the bpd pusue you and keep yourself non-co-dependent at all costs.  The less needy you are, the more she is going to want to make you happy.

[pwarren822]

I was like this w/my husband. People with BPD tend to get mad at those they are close to very easily. I used to tell my husband that I hated him. Its our f-ed up way of seeing if you will stick around. I am lucky enough to have someone who is understanding and is not afraid to tell me when to snap out of it. If you really love her, be patient and don't be afraid to express what you are feeling. You just need to be choosy with your words.. BIG ADVICE... Don't ever tell her she is overreacting!

[Huytongirl]

This is helpful to me, in that we're having our umpteenths break-up (he's paranoid, delusional, has a personality disorder). But I see myself as co-dependent and all my own issues are triggered and I am in pieces, yet again. It seems to me - is this an illusion? - that he has just sailed serenely away (or is that my own projection?) I know the best thing would be to do what all the websites say: detach with love. And he might not ever make another approach to me. But I know I'd go back.

I do get enraged with him but I am trying, for my own sake, not to see myself as a victim here. But I do feel betrayed and abandoned, like a lost child.

[RochelleT]

You have to be patient and show her you aren't going anywhere it's not easy and it won't get easier anytime soon most bpd ppl push loved ones away when they feel that person might hurt them and mostly we are paranoid about everything and very suspicious I don't know why and mostly don't understand myself but after a while I am unable to push certain people away and end up needing them more than anything