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colon cancer recurrence

My Mother is 78 years old suffering from depression, dementia, failure to thrive since losing her husband two years ago.  She had colon cancer in 1995 and they removed a foot of her colon and surrounding lymph nodes without any other cancer treatment needed.  She had a follow up colonoscopy in August 2001 and this is the only one she has had.  She is refusing any diagnostic testing including labs as she has stated she is just wanting to die naturally. She has had chronic diarrhea for two and one half years and is now resulting in fecal incontinence.   She has always suffered from low sodium levels and unfortunately her MD has been prescribing long term use and dosages that are too high on the medications Ambien which she has taken 13 yrs. 20 mg hs,  Valium 5 mg 20 mg daily and she takes Phenobarbital 90 mg daily for epilepsy.  This overuse of medication has now led to 2 ER visits due to falling down the stairs and in the shower several times resulting in severe head blows.   She is now suffering diarrhea resulting in complete incontinence at least 6 times daily.  The stools have a very foul odor.  Labs performed at the ER visits also confirmed the long term medication use has resulted in elevated liver enzyme levels, yet of course is still being prescribed these medications.  She refuses to tell the MD about her diarrhea and symptoms and will not allow me to come with her for her MD visits.  Do her symptoms indicate a possibility of colon cancer recurrence.  I am handling being her caregiver alone as the rest of my family refuses to help.  Any suggestions would be so appreciated.
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Avatar universal
This is a tough situation. A patient with dementia maintains the right to make his or her own decisions (including limiting, refusing, or stop medical treatments) as long as he or she has legal capacity. Power of attorney does not give the agent the authority to override the principal's decision-making until the person with dementia no longer has legal capacity. For more info: https://www.alz.org/national/documents/brochure_endoflifedecisions.pdf
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Avatar universal
Of course, you are in a very difficult bind with little support for yourself. It is very important for your health to be a caregiver to your Mother with the least stress possible.
If your mom has dementia you can make healthcare decisions - and other decisions - with a Power of Attorney very quickly and with little to no cost.
If your mother is able to converse with you, let her know you need her help to help her. She needs to authorize you, if she can, to grant you permission to be her POA..
If not, just call the doctor’s office and tell the doctor the information he or she needs to know...Providing the information does not violate the doctor patient relationship.
It allows the doctor to not have their hands tied.
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Thank you for this helpful advice.  We appreciate your contribution with this information and hope you come back to the site with more of your on point insight.
612551 tn?1450022175
First, god bless you for your care for your mother....sounds like she needs to be  in a nursing home,   She may be able to seek Medicaid if funds not available...in fact if she has not hit Medicare limits that may cove for a period long enough for you to have some rest and time to get a diagnostic help.  I understand how your mother can wish to cross over - to rejoin her husband, regardless of any specific religious context.  

Sounds like you have a challenge getting her to agree....tell her how exhausted you are and how you need her help in getting other care ... she can state to the care facility her limits on what they can do to txtend her life.  Hope she has a Directive for doctors to follow.  You can get advice on that from the web doctors, hospital....I believe.  My be available in a simple form style.

Get some help, please
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