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Avatar universal

venting!!

So one of my husbands best friends was I'm a horrific motorcycle accident August 3rd. he broke both his legs has all kinds of issues has to have 24 hour supervision. here's the problem my husband is off at school right now I have two small children and him having a very very difficult I'm trying to deal with everything all at once. my youngest is 5 months old my other child is 2 years old and I top of trying to change bandages and do everything that he needs to do one basically at my wits end. I feel like I'm have..    nobody to talk to nobody to go to and I feel like I'm constantly do do doing for everybody else and I just I just am having a really hard time with it. sometimes I just want to sit and cry but I don't have time for it. okay that's over!!
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80791 tn?1343593481
Is your husbands friend living you with  The friend doesn't have insurance to have visiting nurses to take care of him?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He is living with us..... He just now got covered under medicare. He has a nurse that comes three times a week but only to check over his wounds. Other than that he is my full responsibility!!
Helpful - 0
4851940 tn?1515694593
Your responsibility lies with looking after yourself and your children.

Although it is very good of you to take care of your husband's best friend, you are not his private nurse.  Make it clear to your husband that you cannot look after your friend constantly and that it is taking its toll on your health and your children.

Your husband either needs to help his friend himself or find different accommodation for him in a care home.  Does he not have any family that can take him in or share the burden of looking after him?

It may also be a good idea to speak with the nurse that comes or a chat with your doctor to see if there is any other help available to him and do tell the nurse that you are struggling and cannot cope with a full-time invalid on your hands and looking after your two young children.  YOUR health is of paramount importance.  Your duty lies with taking care of yourself and your young children, not your husband's best friend.

Hope you do find a solution soon.
If it helps venting, then vent.

Best wishes.
Helpful - 0
144586 tn?1284666164
There are lots of "missing pieces" to this story. In the United States, such patients are ordinarily placed in what is called a rehab facility - a nursing home where they are temporarily placed for care after such an injury. It is against nthe law for a hospital to discharge a patient into a situation such as you are in unless they or someone else has agreed to care for them. I suspect this was your husband. Asside from stress issues a rehab nursing facility is where he belongs until he can walk. You have a difficult situation in respects to your husband, who I suspect has informed the hospital that nupon discharge he would "take care of him". You need to contact the social worker at the hospital where he was treated, and inform them you are in no position to care for him, you are caring for him under duress, and that you want to know what is required to get him into a rehab nursing facility. This is not something nto discuss with the nurse who visits or his doctor. Upon discharge there was an agreed on "discharge plan" mand somebody, without your authorization, assured the hospital you would be the caregiver.
Helpful - 0
144586 tn?1284666164
The situation is complicated for a number of reasons. "Visiting nurses" don't just "show up". Somebody signed a contract with the services, for insurance reimbursement, and such care was in lieu of staying at a rehab nursing facility. Insurance will not pay for both options, and you have already chose one option. With each passing day the liklihood of him being eligible for a rehab facility diminishes. You need to have an immediate discussion with your husband and this individual. The simplist thing is to get him re-admitted to the hospital (I can't suggest you lie about him blacking out) and then he simply tells the social worker he "has no place to stay", putting you back to square one. The idea is to get him into a facility where the insurance pays the bill. Discussing with with a visiting nurse is not proper. You don't even have his health care proxy. And you are in her rice bowl and the rice-bowl of her care provider employer.
Helpful - 0

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