Aa
I'm about to be a co-cat owner to a cat that hates me
My fiance is moving in with me this weekend, and along with him comes his psychotic little calico, Sybil.
Okay, I am NOT a cat person AT ALL, but I have had pet cats in my past that I have truly loved--however, they had very mild-mannered personalities and enjoyed doing things like dogs, like car rides and ambushing the dogs. I think that's why I loved those cats so much. They were sweet tempered and nothing seemed to ever set them off into a finicky, fickle, psychotic episode of hissing, spitting, growling, swatting, biting, clawing, etc.
Now enters my life, Sybil. This cat HATES me and my son with a passion, and she is all of the above behaviors (except she's declawed on her front feet). She wants nothing to do with us and makes it well-known. She doesn't try to come after us or attack us, and never has attacked us, but she will sit herself right at our feet and tell us just what she thinks. She intimidates my 4½ year old son, Trevor, to the point where he is afraid to be within two feet of her. She makes me uneasy because when she's not vocalizing her complaints at me, she sits and *stares* at me, unblinking, with a death glare--I seriously think she's tried to plot my torturous demise.
Well, I think I can make an attempt to understand this cat (forgive me for seeming so impersonal and impartial towards her) and realize that she is of the mindset that SHE is my fiance's one and only (doesn't help that she is "his baby"), as she has lived only with him, and only accepts his presence and attention, for the last three years of her little life. For the last three years, they have been living in a loft/attic in his dad's home, which is closed off, and it was her domain, her kingdom, and her "man." She has had to share neither him or her environment with anyone or anything for three years, except when my son and I have visited for a few hours on occasion--and boy, she makes sure *everyone* knows how upset she gets about that!
So anyway, I can understand that she's been spoiled rotten and isolated for years, but that's all about to change--TONIGHT. And I don't think any of us (her, me, or my son) are quite ready for this.
She is going to be moving into unfamiliar territory that is in a state of upheaval as it is, being that Brandon (my fiance) is going to make the full move-in tomorrow, then there's the unpacking and organizing to do.
Not only that, but she is going to be moving into a small, cramped home where she will not only have to share living quarters with me (and come to learn and accept that *I* am the alpha female here...lol) and my son, whom she hates with a passion, but also with six birds (which I worry about), a small tank with two guppies (I don't think that'll be a big deal), and two outdoor dogs who are welcome in the house on occasion, usually during cold winter nights (but they're only allowed in the kitchen. I really have no clue if they get along with cats...guess we'll find out?).
Anyway, then in only a few more months, her world is yet again going to be turned upside down when our new baby is born in February.
So I'm seeking advice or experiences in how to gain a psycho kitty's respect and love. I'm not a cat person, but I don't dislike cats; I simply have no desire to own one. Well, that's a bit out of my control now. I want Sybil to learn to like, or maybe even love, the *whole family* rather than only giving her devotions to Brandon. But I have no clue how to relate to this cat, because we've started off on such a sour note.
As for Trevor, he adores this cat (as he does all animals) but will not go near her right now and he gets really scared if she comes within a few feet of him and so much as looks at him, because she's been so verbally nasty to him. So if she ever becomes okay with him, I'm sure he'll dote on her just as much as Brandon does. He loves animals.
Me, however...I can't say I have any fondness for this cat, and as of tonight, she's going to be living in my home. What can I do to better this "relationship?"
Okay, I am NOT a cat person AT ALL, but I have had pet cats in my past that I have truly loved--however, they had very mild-mannered personalities and enjoyed doing things like dogs, like car rides and ambushing the dogs. I think that's why I loved those cats so much. They were sweet tempered and nothing seemed to ever set them off into a finicky, fickle, psychotic episode of hissing, spitting, growling, swatting, biting, clawing, etc.
Now enters my life, Sybil. This cat HATES me and my son with a passion, and she is all of the above behaviors (except she's declawed on her front feet). She wants nothing to do with us and makes it well-known. She doesn't try to come after us or attack us, and never has attacked us, but she will sit herself right at our feet and tell us just what she thinks. She intimidates my 4½ year old son, Trevor, to the point where he is afraid to be within two feet of her. She makes me uneasy because when she's not vocalizing her complaints at me, she sits and *stares* at me, unblinking, with a death glare--I seriously think she's tried to plot my torturous demise.
Well, I think I can make an attempt to understand this cat (forgive me for seeming so impersonal and impartial towards her) and realize that she is of the mindset that SHE is my fiance's one and only (doesn't help that she is "his baby"), as she has lived only with him, and only accepts his presence and attention, for the last three years of her little life. For the last three years, they have been living in a loft/attic in his dad's home, which is closed off, and it was her domain, her kingdom, and her "man." She has had to share neither him or her environment with anyone or anything for three years, except when my son and I have visited for a few hours on occasion--and boy, she makes sure *everyone* knows how upset she gets about that!
So anyway, I can understand that she's been spoiled rotten and isolated for years, but that's all about to change--TONIGHT. And I don't think any of us (her, me, or my son) are quite ready for this.
She is going to be moving into unfamiliar territory that is in a state of upheaval as it is, being that Brandon (my fiance) is going to make the full move-in tomorrow, then there's the unpacking and organizing to do.
Not only that, but she is going to be moving into a small, cramped home where she will not only have to share living quarters with me (and come to learn and accept that *I* am the alpha female here...lol) and my son, whom she hates with a passion, but also with six birds (which I worry about), a small tank with two guppies (I don't think that'll be a big deal), and two outdoor dogs who are welcome in the house on occasion, usually during cold winter nights (but they're only allowed in the kitchen. I really have no clue if they get along with cats...guess we'll find out?).
Anyway, then in only a few more months, her world is yet again going to be turned upside down when our new baby is born in February.
So I'm seeking advice or experiences in how to gain a psycho kitty's respect and love. I'm not a cat person, but I don't dislike cats; I simply have no desire to own one. Well, that's a bit out of my control now. I want Sybil to learn to like, or maybe even love, the *whole family* rather than only giving her devotions to Brandon. But I have no clue how to relate to this cat, because we've started off on such a sour note.
As for Trevor, he adores this cat (as he does all animals) but will not go near her right now and he gets really scared if she comes within a few feet of him and so much as looks at him, because she's been so verbally nasty to him. So if she ever becomes okay with him, I'm sure he'll dote on her just as much as Brandon does. He loves animals.
Me, however...I can't say I have any fondness for this cat, and as of tonight, she's going to be living in my home. What can I do to better this "relationship?"
Heatherlynn, lol! It's nice to know I'm not the only one who gets death glares from the family cat.
I have a feeling Sybil will end up being the same way--she'll always have 100% of her loyalty and devotion to Brandon, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she ends up the same way with Trevor before too long. I think she's more used to men in general, as even before the few years she spent alone with Brandon, the roommates he used to have were males.
I am sure Sybil and I can develope a civil and tolerant relationship, but I would really be surprised if she ends up any more attached to me than that, lol.
I have a feeling Sybil will end up being the same way--she'll always have 100% of her loyalty and devotion to Brandon, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she ends up the same way with Trevor before too long. I think she's more used to men in general, as even before the few years she spent alone with Brandon, the roommates he used to have were males.
I am sure Sybil and I can develope a civil and tolerant relationship, but I would really be surprised if she ends up any more attached to me than that, lol.
i have a cat who gives me death looks. in fact she's very, very mean to me. torments me in fact. and i to think she's plotting my untimely demise. i've had that feeling all morning in fact. what's bad though is i've been "her person" since she was 2 weeks old. *sigh* she loves my boys and dh ....just not me.
Wow, sounds like she's already settling in! All of this is very encouraging! Most cats will hide for days after a move. I wouldn't worry about it. As you can see, they come out eventually. It's good that you gave her space and didn't force her to come out.
How does she feel about the dogs? If your birds are still distressed you may have to put them in their own room where the cat can't get to them. I had to do this with a parakeet I had.
I think she will be fine. It sounds like she's already accepting you and showing affection is very encouraging indeed! Just be patient. She'll settle right in. :o)
How does she feel about the dogs? If your birds are still distressed you may have to put them in their own room where the cat can't get to them. I had to do this with a parakeet I had.
I think she will be fine. It sounds like she's already accepting you and showing affection is very encouraging indeed! Just be patient. She'll settle right in. :o)
Okay, so as of this morning, Sybil and the rest of us are on day three together. So far, so good; or at least, as good as I could ask for.
She spent Friday night and Saturday morning under my bed. She never budged. Anytime Trevor or I would peek under there just to see if she was still there and alive, she'd give us a nice little hiss and growl. I was a bit concerned for her, as I had no clue if she would even come out at all to use the litterbox. She wouldn't even come out Saturday morning or afternoon when Brandon was there getting things moved in, and when he'd try to coax her out.
She finally came out Saturday night and started exploring. Of course, anytime Trev or I came anywhere *near* her, she'd let us know how she felt about that.
By the time I was in bed that night, she kept waking me up in the middle of the night either walking across my stomach or sticking her cold nose in my ear or neck to sniff me out. I didn't mind so much; I just would've preferred that she would've chosen to get acquainted with me when I was *awake,* lol. Whenever she woke me up, I had to make a half-concious effort not to react by throwing my arms up from shock to swat at her from a dead sleep, perhaps risking minor injury to us both...
Yeah, I'm not used to having my sleep interrupted by sniffing, night-prowling kitties.
Speaking of night-prowling...
From what I understand, Sybil normally sleeps during the night and does not prowl. Well, I guess she's decided to change her habits?
My poor finches and doves--they never freak out and fling about their cage at night. Now I've had to resort to covering their cage with a very dark blanket at night because whenever they see Miss Night Prowler, they go nuts and try to fly around in a panic, which is never good for birds since they can get severely injured doing that when they're unable to see where they're going. Poor things. Oh well, I guess we all have to figure out our ways of coping. At least the good thing is...so far...that Sybil absolutely will not go near my Senegal (who has a big, sharp beak and screams and shrieks; Sybil seems to not be too fond of such noises) or my cockatiel, who is housed next to my Senegal. Maybe I should put the finches and doves next to those two. Hmmmmm.
Anyway, Sunday started getting a little better. Sybil spent most of the day out of hiding and watching the family move about. By Sunday night, she was letting me pet her for a few seconds at a time.
This morning, after Brandon left for work and I was still at home, she was following me around and rubbing up on my legs; she let me pet her a couple of times. She even did her roll-over-on-her-back-play-with-me thing for me this morning. Well, I'm not quite ready for that yet, since I still don't trust her not to try to take a finger off or something. But the other good thing is that this morning, she also went in to explore Trev's room--while he was in there playing!
So I think in a week or so, it'll all be good. Thanks for all your help and advice!
She spent Friday night and Saturday morning under my bed. She never budged. Anytime Trevor or I would peek under there just to see if she was still there and alive, she'd give us a nice little hiss and growl. I was a bit concerned for her, as I had no clue if she would even come out at all to use the litterbox. She wouldn't even come out Saturday morning or afternoon when Brandon was there getting things moved in, and when he'd try to coax her out.
She finally came out Saturday night and started exploring. Of course, anytime Trev or I came anywhere *near* her, she'd let us know how she felt about that.
By the time I was in bed that night, she kept waking me up in the middle of the night either walking across my stomach or sticking her cold nose in my ear or neck to sniff me out. I didn't mind so much; I just would've preferred that she would've chosen to get acquainted with me when I was *awake,* lol. Whenever she woke me up, I had to make a half-concious effort not to react by throwing my arms up from shock to swat at her from a dead sleep, perhaps risking minor injury to us both...
Yeah, I'm not used to having my sleep interrupted by sniffing, night-prowling kitties.
Speaking of night-prowling...
From what I understand, Sybil normally sleeps during the night and does not prowl. Well, I guess she's decided to change her habits?
My poor finches and doves--they never freak out and fling about their cage at night. Now I've had to resort to covering their cage with a very dark blanket at night because whenever they see Miss Night Prowler, they go nuts and try to fly around in a panic, which is never good for birds since they can get severely injured doing that when they're unable to see where they're going. Poor things. Oh well, I guess we all have to figure out our ways of coping. At least the good thing is...so far...that Sybil absolutely will not go near my Senegal (who has a big, sharp beak and screams and shrieks; Sybil seems to not be too fond of such noises) or my cockatiel, who is housed next to my Senegal. Maybe I should put the finches and doves next to those two. Hmmmmm.
Anyway, Sunday started getting a little better. Sybil spent most of the day out of hiding and watching the family move about. By Sunday night, she was letting me pet her for a few seconds at a time.
This morning, after Brandon left for work and I was still at home, she was following me around and rubbing up on my legs; she let me pet her a couple of times. She even did her roll-over-on-her-back-play-with-me thing for me this morning. Well, I'm not quite ready for that yet, since I still don't trust her not to try to take a finger off or something. But the other good thing is that this morning, she also went in to explore Trev's room--while he was in there playing!
So I think in a week or so, it'll all be good. Thanks for all your help and advice!
I have had cats my whole life so I have never had thsi experience in my own home but: my mom has 3 indoor cats and she just moved her trailer nextdoor to my house. She has lived sitors...until now.where she rarely gets visitors until now. She haas a cat that even I find intimidating. Dooper is huge adn has huge eyes and he stalks people who come in and growls at them. At first I always wanted to know where the cat was as soon as I walked in. After a week or so I figured out that he finds it threatening to look for him. I ignore him now. All of a sudden he has started sitting on the back of the couch behind me all curled up and pretending im not there. I think cats can feel nervous energy and they hate it when you move fast..its a threat to them. You don;t have to slow down, just act normal. moms cat hates her grand daughter because she is 3 and runs everywhere in the trailer and is real noisy. Sybil will most likely get used to more people and more noise. Some cats just like peace and quiet. One of my cats stays out of sight most of the day and at night when everyone is laying around watching tv he comes out and jumps up with us. He is half blind and just doesnt like the hustle and bustle but has adapted. I hope you dont mind sharing your bed! Oh, and keep the door to the nursery closed. When I was pregnant my cat peed in the crib and no baby had been in it. Dont ask me why...just being territorial i think. better safe than sorry. The cat loved the baby when she came...he was spooked at noises coming out of that little thing at first,but laid beside her bouncey seat and slept! Just watch, before long you will find Sybil in Trevors bed with him, sound asleep.! She may abandon your man for your little man.lol Good luck and lots of patience to you......sp
You are welcome.
Based on my experience with cats, they can either spend the entire night yowling and crying, scared in a corner or under the bed or couch, or sleeping like little angels. The day I brought Abby home, just a kitten, he did not let me sleep the entire night. He'd never been separated from his brothers. He cried so much it was heartbreaking. I tried everything and nothing worked. That day at work I was a mess.
So, in that specific case you will just have to cover your ears and let her drive you nuts. Hopefully, she will be a good girl. Fingers crossed? :)
Good thing Trev ignores her. THAT is a good thing!! They will become friends eventually. You'll see.
Based on my experience with cats, they can either spend the entire night yowling and crying, scared in a corner or under the bed or couch, or sleeping like little angels. The day I brought Abby home, just a kitten, he did not let me sleep the entire night. He'd never been separated from his brothers. He cried so much it was heartbreaking. I tried everything and nothing worked. That day at work I was a mess.
So, in that specific case you will just have to cover your ears and let her drive you nuts. Hopefully, she will be a good girl. Fingers crossed? :)
Good thing Trev ignores her. THAT is a good thing!! They will become friends eventually. You'll see.
Thank you for that info--I had no idea about the 15 day adjustment time being something to consider. That helps a lot.
As for Trev and me, she will not let us pet her or get near her, nor do we want to, so we all should have no problems ignoring each other for a few days and simply getting used to each others' presence.
Brandon is officially moving in tomorrow, but he's dropping Sybil off tonight so he doesn't have to haul her with a ton of furniture and stuff tomorrow afternoon. I worry how she'll do without him for a night in an unfamiliar place with people she hates.
I won't have internet access for the weekend, so I'll post an update on how our weekend went on Monday morning.
Thanks again for this advice. It helps having some info and encouragement going into this...
As for Trev and me, she will not let us pet her or get near her, nor do we want to, so we all should have no problems ignoring each other for a few days and simply getting used to each others' presence.
Brandon is officially moving in tomorrow, but he's dropping Sybil off tonight so he doesn't have to haul her with a ton of furniture and stuff tomorrow afternoon. I worry how she'll do without him for a night in an unfamiliar place with people she hates.
I won't have internet access for the weekend, so I'll post an update on how our weekend went on Monday morning.
Thanks again for this advice. It helps having some info and encouragement going into this...
Oh, Oh Gosh poor Sybil lol. This is a tough one. When she gets home, try to keep her locked up in a room all by herself, with her bowls and litter box, and toys. I believe you already knew that. Give her time to get used to the new house. I would also tell that beautiful, handsome little man of yours, Trevor, to give kitty some time to get used to you guys and the birds. Just let her come to you. Let her do her thing and ignore her for a few days so she will not feel threatened.
Speaking of birds, this could potentially work in your favor. We'll see. Cats tend to get entertained with birds. Hopefully, she'll love the sound of yours :)
According to county shelters, a minimum of 15 days is necessary for a cat to get used to a new environment. She will get to like you when she spends more time with you. Try to feed her and pet her little by little, as she allows. I am certain that you guy will become friends :)
Keep us posted yeah?
Speaking of birds, this could potentially work in your favor. We'll see. Cats tend to get entertained with birds. Hopefully, she'll love the sound of yours :)
According to county shelters, a minimum of 15 days is necessary for a cat to get used to a new environment. She will get to like you when she spends more time with you. Try to feed her and pet her little by little, as she allows. I am certain that you guy will become friends :)
Keep us posted yeah?
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