Experiencing the Passing

[GarciaLover]

Has anyone witnessed the passing of a pet in the vet office? Trying to decide if I want to be there? Not sure what to expect

[Kmaur]

I would believe there are two factors..the vet you work with and the type of person you are.  In my experiences, the staff at the vet can be extremely comforting and helpful for you and your pet.  Often, they are the source for strength.

The second is the person you are.  I can't imagine my pets not having me there to let them know that everything is ok, but I also work past grief after the event.  If you are someone who falls apart, it may make things more upsetting for the pet who has watched over you for years.  

I am not sure there is a right or wrong...but instead what is right for your situation.  Either way...it is never easy.  

I hope you all find peace in your journeys.

[GarciaLover]

Thanks for all you support- I have decided to be there with him, no doubt in my mind.  Now I'm going to see if my vet will make a house call when the time comes so Garcia doesn't have to go to the vet which is scary.  It was suggested that if my vet doesn't that maybe another area vet does do house calls. I think it should be an offered service everywhere. That would be so wonderful.  
Garcia is going to be cremated and be near me forever.  He always jumps into boxes around our house from the lids to board games to empty UPS boxes. On his wooden box urn it will read- Eternally in one of your favorite places, your box. I Love You.

[sadie44]

I have chosen to be there and have felt comfortable with my Vet at the time. I also chose to bring my cat home and bury her so it depends on what your decision is about that also.  You don't have to be "strong" as tears are normal and that's where trusting your Vet comes in.  It broke my heart but i had to be there.

Sadie44

[KATLOVER58]

Wow.  Although I was saddened to read your story about the loss of your pet I can't also help but feel what a beautiful ending to your beloved pet's life.  To not have to take him into a vet's examining room and be concerned about his fears of being there but to be able to hold him in your arms out under the sun in your own backyard is in itself wonderful.  You definately do have a generous and caring vet and you were very brave to do this by yourself.  I know your cat left this life knowing you loved him dearly.    

[lisajrosa]

With the generosity of a caring vet, I was given a lethal injection for my cat who was suffering from Feline Leukemia.  He had good days and bad days.  I explained to the vet that I didn't want to take one good moment from him but also didn't want him to have a horrilbe death, which he would have had. The day came when his syptoms became too severe.  I let him say goodbye to my other cats and then took him and the injection to a sunny spot in the yard. I held him and told him how much I loved him before depressing the syringe.  The last sight he has was of my face and my loving voice.  I think that was the best last memeory I could have given him.  I balled my eyes out for hours after he was gone but felt I did the kindest thing I could for him.  I know how painful this is but after all the love he has filled your life with don't you want to be with him until the end.  I think he would be forever grateful.

[KATLOVER58]

It wasn't until my early 30s that for the first time I escorted a family pet to the vet due to old age and illness.  Her name was Missy and she was a cocker spaniel who was with me and my parents for many years but stayed with my mom and dad after I got married.  My mom was ill at the time and wasn't up to going.  I cried in the car all the way to the vet but when they asked me if I wanted to go in with her I said no.  After I left I regretted that decision and since then I have had to have several pets put to sleep and always go in with them.  Unfortunately, whatever decision you make you probably won't know whether it was the right or wrong one for you until after you have made it.  If you decide not to go and are ok with that decision afterwards then that is fine.  Either way.  We all say goodbye in our own way and at the time when we feel it is most important  to both us and our beloved pet.  Keep in mind that they know they leave us with all the love we had to give them while they were here in our homes and hearts.

[April2]

Oh my goodness! I can see why that would have been a traumatic experience for you! How awful. I'm so sorry you ever had to go through that.
Yes, do make sure you have the vet that you're comfortable with. I had a strange vet when I had Willow put to sleep because it was kind of sudden, too. I didn't feel like she acted as compassionate as I would have liked her to act. I had some questions and she barely talked to me. However, at least she seemed to know what she was doing as it was an easy and smooth transition for Willow.

You know, you can always have the vet come to your house to put them to sleep too. I think it costs a little more to do it that way but it's another option. My mom did that with our one dog when I was growing up.
It's never going to be easy, no matter what. Don't feel pressured one way or another. Do what your heart tells you. Trust your heart. :o)

[Jade59]

After reading about everyone who chose to be with their pets when they passed, I have changed my mind about being with Jade if/when that decision is ever to be made.  Due to our first very traumatizing experience, we didn't think we wanted to be in that situation again, but I can see it can be a peaceful experience and Nothing like what we witnessed.  

We put Abby down in an emergency and we didn't know the particular Vet who did the euthenizing.  We wanted the Vet who normally saw her to do it, but he wasn't on duty that day.  We wanted to be with her so she wasn't afraid.  This vet missed the vein twice, Abby is screaming and we are watching all this in shock.  It was awful.  On top of that, he isn't real gentle when he places her body in the box for us to take home to bury.  The whole thing is a terrible memory for us to this day!  I see now how important it is to be with a Vet you know and trust with such a hard decision.  

I know this is not my post, but I wanted you all to know you're peaceful experiences have helped to change my mind about the future.  

[LynneAV]

It was the last thing in the world I wanted to go through, but personally I could not just hand Lizzie over and then turn my back and leave her there. Her usual vet took care of us, let us in the back way to a private room so we wouldn't have to go through the reception area. It was not bad at all and I'm glad I could hold Lizzie while I said goodbye. She was very very ill from a long battle with lymphoma. It was as if she just went to sleep, but a restful peaceful sleep for the first time in weeks.

[IMstacie]

I've had to put down several over the years, old age, kidney failure, etc.  These were cats that were with me for 10 to 18 years. They get nervous so  I held them while the vet put them to sleep.  I wanted to make sure they were as comfortable as possible in the end.  It was so hard, but I won't do it any other way.

[heatherlynn22]

i wasn't with a cat or dog when i made the decision. (luckily all my past pets have gone peacefully at home at an old age) but i did with my horse. he had developed stomach cancer, couldn't eat, chew, drink water or walk. he was dying a slow and painful death. so i sat down with my aunt and uncle (they're the horse experts in the family and in fact they're the ones who bought my beloved ranger for me) and the vet and we decided it would be best for him. i had his head in my lap and was stroking his forehead and nose as he went. he nudged me just to let me know it was ok. it was the saddest and hardest thing i've ever had to do in my entire life but it was what was best for him. giving them that peace of not having to suffer anymore.

[Piparskeggr]

Greetings;

I have done so, both after the fact and during.  For me, I'd rather be with them at the finale.

Just keeping things to recent memory, Anita and I have/have had 8 cats since we wed in 1982.

The first 2 were Queen Victoria and Calamity Jane, whom we got in Feb '83 at about 12 weeks.  Victoria died in her sleep, age 17 y 7 m.  Cammie died in my lap at the vet's, 21 y 4 m.

Next came April Dancer, who we rescued from a parking lot on the airbase in northwest Florida to which we were assigned.  She was about 2 months old then and died of anaphylactic shock at the vet's, 6 y 6 m.

Then came Cerridwen Blythe, a stray we took in when we were at the air base near Omaha, NE.  She died in my lap at the vet's, 16 y 5 m.

In the case of Victoria, we expected her to pass, as she'd had a recurrence of a lung infection, which had lain dormant for 16 years.  Cammie had 2 strokes about 10 days apart, 2nd one just devastated her.

Dancer, it was a mild sedative so she could undergo a minor procedure.  She was such a healthy, vibrant little cat, we were sore upset,

Cerridwen, it was massive liver and kidney failure...

It isn't easy, any way, losing a beloved pet.  Just look into yourself, will you be a final comfort?

Gods bless - Pip

[opus88]

Its one of the hardest decisions you'll ever have to make for a friend!!
I've had to decide for my babies when there was no other choice left at least 6 times in the passed 20 yrs....
the first one I couldn't stay with and I've always regretted it..like the others said already its totally up to each individual.
for me I've always believed it was the least I could do for a good friend...to help hold and ease their terror as much as possible.
Its a very quick and human way to go, they feel nothing only you holding them in your arms as you have so many times before....but as mentioned they do seem 'to know'...
I'm not afraid to admit as I held my babies that last time I would cry like a baby.
the last few I took with me after and made burial arrangements.
for the last one whom I loved beyond belief and who had been ill for a few years, required constant medical attention from me and a wonderful vet..(no pain involved)...my vet actually came to the house to put him down when the time came...(because my Opus had such a fear of returning to the clinic)..afterwards he allowed me to keep him home with me for a few hours until I was ready to return him to the clinic in his little casket and have him cremated.
Its very hard to remember even to this day and that was 4 yrs ago...they are our FAMILY and saying goodbye is never going to be an easy thing to do.
God bless and you'll know what you feel you need to do when the time arrives.

[Kaydey]

The first time i went through that I insisted on being in the room with Droopy (our dog).  It was hard for the whole family.  What I did was look into his eyes and reassure him there is a better place for him (before the procedure).   He was sad, but he was also extremely ill.  He knew what was going to happen, and I believe (because of the way he looked at me) he was grateful that he didn't have to suffer anymore.  It didn't take long, less than a minute.

The second time was with Sophie, a Sheltie I took in for a daughter of a friend.  They didn't know she was sick.  She suffered Cushings disease.  She was with us for almost 5 mo before she went into renal failure. (There was a long abuse history with this dog, so those 5 mo were wonderful for her)  She knew when it was time to go. When the renal failure started, I called our Vet and told her that it was time.  Again, I stayed in the room with her, comforted her and told her she was going to a better place.  The time it took her to pass away was nil.  She passed away before the procedure.

Droopy and Sophie are only two of many that I have been with when they go over the Rainbow.  And each time it is different. But each time I mourned for days after losing them.  

If you can't handle being in the room, it is OK!  It is tough to see a loved one go on to the next world.  And if you can't be there, don't kick yourself in the butt.  

The only thing I ask you to do.....before the procedure, be in the room, say 'I love you" and leave just right before the Vet is about to do the procedure.

If you can't do that, then have a friend or relative take your pet for you.   And I think we all understand that option.

It is tough.  No matter how we try to sugar-coat it.

The decision is yours.  You have to make that decision as the companion to the animal.

Don't second guess yourself.  A lot of ppl do that, and it only makes matters worse.  Make your decision...stand by it.

Blessings

[HelpinUtah]

I posted on your other post about your furr baby.  I explained my experiences for you.  Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as well as your cat.  Hugs, Janet

[zodiacqueen]

I've gone through this so many times with the cats that I've had.  I wouldn't be able to take being in the room while they're getting put to sleep.  I really want to, but I know that I can't handle it.  I know that I would pass out if I were in there.  

You need to honestly think about whether you'll be able to handle it or not.  It is not gonna be easy.

[Jade59]

Savas, you are absolutely and  positively correct in your statement about being comfortable with the Vet first!

[PrettyKitty1]

It depends on whether you can take it or not. I'm not strong enough to see my animals pass, so I choose to go away. It is always very painful no matter how many you lose.

[Savas]

Yes, depending on your personality it can be awkward and make it even more stressful to stay for the whole experience. It's best to be sure you're comfortable with the Vet first, as he/she will be a part of the experience, like it or not.

[April2]

I was there with my dog when we had to put him to sleep a few months ago. I was surprised at how quick it was. She gave the shot and he just went limp and they gently laid him down on the table. He didn't make a peep. I stayed for a little bit just stroking his fur and crying and saying goodbye. Yes, it was hard but I'm glad I did it because it made me feel better to know he didn't suffer, he didn't resist or struggle or cry out, nothing. It was just quick, easy and a gentle passing. Would be that all us humans could go like that when it's our time.

I'm so sorry for this difficult time for you. It's not an easy decision. With my first cat years ago I was a chicken and couldn't stay with her. I dropped her off and went back to the car and bawled all the way home. I almost was going to do that with my dog but I decided I would stay. Like I said, I'm glad now I did. But it's a personal decision and either one is fine. There's no right way to do this. You can say your goodbyes before hand or be there at the time. It has to be your decision and no one should pressure you one way or another.
God bless you and your little furball. I pray God will hold you both in his arms and comfort you both at this time. *Warm Hugs*
April

[Jade59]

Hello,

You must be considering putting your dear kitty to sleep.  I'm sorry if it has come to that.  I am probably not the best person to answer your post as I did Not have a good experience.  I won't go into detail, but our poor experience was due to an inept doctor.  I have read of others who have been there when their pets passed and they were glad they made that decision.  

What I Will tell you is I had my hand on our Abby kitty when she passed and you can feel the muscles go all soft...not a bad experience, I had just never felt "life" leave a body before.  That part was okay because then I knew my girl was at peace.  

Again, I'm so sorry as I do know the heartache of having to make the decision to put a pet down.