Had to say goodbye...

[wonko]

to my 14 year old beloved girl.  She had problems with her thyroid, pancreas, and kidneys.  It is so hard to know when it is time, thankfully the vet said she was not yet suffering, though she had lost interest in food and (mostly) in our company.  She was family to us, we'll never forget her, and she'll always be with us in a special way.

[wonko]

Thanks, Opus!  I like that the poem is,from the pet's point of view.

I can't recall for sure where I read it, but I think it was here I read that in retrospect, pet owners rarely think they made the choice to say goodbye too early, but often think they waited too long.  I tried to keep that in mind when handling my own tough decision.

I bought myself a little grey tabby plush, something small to hug when I'm remembering my sweet girl.

[opus88]

I am very sorry for your loss, you did what you needed to do for your very dear little girl but that doesn't ease the pain of the decision nor the loss of your precious baby

grief is the price we pay for love......:( read that somewhere...

You had time to say your goodbyes....and hung onto every precious moment you were given. You showed her how very much she was loved right up to that special meal you allowed her to enjoy

I know that feeling of devastation too....it does ease, slowly....

sending you my prayers...RIP little Bella♥

heres a little poem that may bring you some relief...some tears too:(

Do you think the time has come? May I say good-bye to pain-filled days and endless nights?
I've lived my life and done my best, an exampled tried to be.
So can't I take that step beyond and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now to a warm and loving light.
I want to go, I really do. Its difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me and share your love and tears.
I know you're sad and so afraid, because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know that my spirit will be close to you, wherever you may go.
Thank you for loving me.
You know I love you too.
Thats why its hard to say good-bye and end this life with you.
So hold me now, just one more time and let me hear you say, because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.
-Susan A. Jackson

[wonko]

Thank you so much both of you for the responses.  Your kind words are exactly what I was needing.

I do still feel her and though I'm deeply saddened, I'm also relieved to know she will never be in pain.

She first got sick about a year and a half ago, when she became acutely hyperthyroid and got pancreatitis.  She had a bad reaction to thyroid medication which made her even more sick.  We had to syringe feed her a special food for thyroid control because she was too sick to eat.  After a month or so she was well enough to eat on her own, and we are so grateful for the extra year and a half she was able to stay with us.

This time we knew she was too tired for all of the vet tests and syringe feedings.  At least we knew it was coming and had enoug time to say goodbye.  We spent a quiet evening with her, and she even nibbled on some of her favorite "fancy feast," which we hadn't been able to feed her due to the thyroid condition.  It was the best goodbye we could have hoped for, and helped us feel ok with our decision.

Thank you again for being so kind!  I've felt quite devastated about it today.

[Piparskeggr]

They never, truly, leave our hearts or memories.

I am constantly catching sight (out of the corner of my eye) of cats we are no longer feeding, yet they still are in the house.

They are in many ways more wise than we when it comes to that Final Kindness.  Letting kitty go before her illnesses brought her pain and unhappiness was an act of love, the hardest one we will ever do for them.

[CML2014]

YES WONKO!!!! Your beloved little girl Will always be with you!

I worked in Rescue for years and I cannot tell you how many people came in after losing their precious baby, and told the same stories........They could feel their pet child's presence in so many ways  A soft breeze,  a feather light touch on the leg, an indention on their bed where they once slept with them, and most of all wisps of whiskers touching their cheek. I know it sounds crazy , but I BELIEVE. Too many coincidences

The most important part of this profound journey you will take is that one day when you least expect it there will come a creature who has the same essence that your lost love had. That is because their beautiful spirit never leaves-- it just finds another way to come back to us. Truly! ------Believe and open your heart up, it will happen.

You gave your baby the best gift you could by letting her go before she was in any pain! That's a wonderful thing to know.

I will pray you feel her presence in some way every day until her spirit finds her home in your heart again in another form.

Sincerely,'CML