My child is choosing to misbehave

[LeadParentEducator]

My child will behave at home, follows rules, can answer questions about rules and has guidelines and boundaries.  At daycare he acts like a completely different child.  He has been in childcare since 6 weeks old.  He has been at several daycare's and it always ends the same.   He will bite, spit, hit, students as well as the teacher.  He will climb unsafely, he will not cooperate during circle or large group times.  We don't know what to do, and the teacher is at wits end.   When I ask him would he hit mommy, he says absolutely not!   So he knows right from wrong and is choosing wrong!

[AnnieBrooke]

I realize it probably sounds like I'm a sentimentalist or someone who is unrealistic about the realities of life, but blaming a child for acting out when the child is put into a situation where he misses his family is pretty unkind.  Starting at 6 weeks is a lot of time away from parents for a little kid.  I once knew a couple whose nanny, of all people, told them they needed to spend more time with their children.  She didn't have to say that, she lost the job.  But it was true.

[Sandman2]

   I do agree with Annie.  However, it could also have something to do with the daycare.   No child likes to be sent away from their parent, but lots and lots are successfully in daycare.   The reason for my questions were to try and get a handle on the daycare situation.  There are books that you can buy to read to him and practice social techniques with him.  But, I need to know his age to make sure they are age appropriate.

[AnnieBrooke]

In all earnestness, when a kid who has been in daycare since a very young age acts up so much when sent to daycare and does not act up at home, he is saying he has had it with daycare.  For whatever reason.  He wants to be home with his family and not sent out to daycare.  My cousin is a business owner and busy every moment.  She and her husband had an unexpected child, who has also been in daycare since 6 weeks, of necessity. That kid is so wild and destructive, except when with his mom and dad, where he is happy and sweet.  He seems (to the rest of the family) to be saying in the only way he can that he's tired of being farmed out!  She can't afford to hear that message, her business is what pays the bills for the whole family, but I'm sorry for the kid.  He has no other way to express how much he hates being sent away from his parents.

[Sandman2]

How old is he?  How old are the other kids?  How many kids per teacher?

[Life360_Dave]

Anti social behavior needs to be addressed at any age level and the sooner the better as eventually one day all he will have is society to deal with and learning how to function is upmost in preparing him for society.
You can start by talking to him about why this is happening as his answers will surly shed light on his shortcomings. If that does not work have him see a child therapist but bottom line this must be addressed.

[AnnieBrooke]

Maybe he wants to be at home.