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16 year old daughter's toileting habits

My daughter Charlotte, who has just turned 16 has been weeing and pooing on the carpet in her bedroom for the last few months, though she'll sometimes wee on the hallway carpet outside her bedroom. Charlotte is very intelligent and will be starting college in September. I just don't understand why she does this. She tells me she does it because she likes it and is happy to clean up the mess. What could we do moving forward?
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, I am also on the ADHD community as the forum leader and this behavior would be kinda normal in that community.  Basically, a child with either ADD or ADHD gets so involved in what they are doing that they resist the urge to go.  Its only when that urge get so bad that they will make a break for the bathroom and many times don't make it.  If your daughter is very intelligent the normal signs of adhd/add can be missed.  I have known of kids that really didn't have any problems educationally until grad school.   And saying that she likes it could be a cover.    Any way, lots of info out there if you or she are interested.  a starting place might be here....  https://adhdonline.com/women-with-adhd/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI3PHz9O7C8QIVWyutBh0GCwTnEAEYASAAEgKcwfD_BwE
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973741 tn?1342342773
This is a rough question, but ask her about trauma.  Changes like this are sometimes associated with sexual trauma.
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1 Comments
I've asked her whether anything has gone on and she's said no but obviously with lockdown and stuff she hasn't been out the house much and it started during the last lockdown after Christmas. As I've said to the other poster she hasn't had a boyfriend for over a year (relationship ended during the first lockdown before her 15th birthday).
Avatar universal
Sorry, but this child needs a diagnosis.  Something is going on with her.  I'd say she needs to see a doctor and probably a therapist but you might try to talk to her and ask her why she thinks this is a good idea?  At 16 she is well aware that this isn't at all safe or sanitary and can spread disease to herself or others, and knows this just isn't appropriate, so she's acting out.  Your job is to find out why and what it means for her, and that again might require a doctor and probably a psychologist.  Peace.
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4 Comments
Well I've been trying to book an appointment for her with the GP, but he's in short supply at the moment. Wee is sterile so that doesn't bother me and she only poos on the carpet in her bedroom. I'm wondering whether it could be some sort of fetish?
Uh, sorry, but no, urine isn't sterile.  There are tons of pretty awful diseases you can get from it.  Doesn't mean it's likely, but it's not a safe substance to have lying around.  As to whether it's a fetish, that would mean she's getting sexual pleasure from it.  It's possible, but most people hide their fetishes from their Moms, you know?  That's something we do with our sexual partners, not on our beds and our floors where anyone can see.  But the only way to find out is with a therapist, most likely.  The first step is you to talk to her, she's your daughter.  As I asked before, have you asked her why she does this?  Just saying she likes it isn't enough, again, at 16 she certainly knows this isn't safe or appropriate.  Something is wrong here, she is acting out, she apparently wants you to know about it, and you need to know why.  
I always thought you should wash your hands after using the toilet, but only always after a poo and that it's not the end of the world if you don't wash your hands after a wee. After researching it a bit, I've found quite a few cases of teenagers enjoying weeing but nothing about pooing. And you're right in saying that she'd hide it if it was a fetish. For what it's worth, Charlotte hasn't had a boyfriend for about a year now. If she was just weeing in her bedroom only I wouldn't be bothered at all. Still no availability with GP.
Again, I repeat, urine can in fact spread disease.  It's not benign.  It has nothing to do with washing hands.  That depends on if it gets on your hands or not.  For guys, it usually doesn't, so there's no problem.  For females, however, they usually wipe after and so they do need to wash their hands after.  I would mind if my daughter were peeing anywhere but in the toilet or the woods when camping.  

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