Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

4 year old night waking

When I had a baby, I eagerly anticipated time that he would start sleeping through the night. 4 years later, I'm still waiting. I hope someone can help, I honestly can't take anymore. Here's our routing: bedtime around 8:30; read 2-3 stories and cuddle until he falls asleep, usually within 10 minutes; he wakes around 1:30 -2:00 and calls for me; I go check on him, and either he goes back to sleep, asks to snuggle "for a couple minutes", or is up for hours, literally, until I can't take anymore and I sleep in his bed; wakes in the morning around 8:00. We've tried: letting him cry, which can last for hours; making a reward chart-he earns a star for each night he sleeps and then after 2 weeks he gets a treat; putting him to bed earlier or later. We have had periods where he sleeps 2 weeks at a time, a few months, but then something interrupts his schedule (sickness, daddy being away on a business trip...) and we're back to square one. I talked to my doctor about it once, and intend to again when we see her for his checkup in a couple months. She basically kind of scolded me for going in to his room when he calls. I feel like I have to check on him, though, because there were actually a couple of times when he had vomited in his bed. I've tried asking him why he is waking up (bad dreams, have to go potty, need a drink, etc) but he usually says "I'm not sure" or "I'm scared of the dark/monsters".  We do keep a nightlight on in his room, and I'm not even sure if he really is afraid or just uses that as his excuse for calling us up there. He never ever has to go potty when he wakes, or has had an accident in his bed. Please, someone help!!  I'm definitely not the best mom when I'm constantly exhausted (once he is awake for hours, I can't go back to sleep myself). Tonight, after 2.5 hours of listening to him cry, I flipped the light on in his room and told him if he wasn't going to sleep, he was going to get up and stay up all night (see, not my best idea). Notice I am posting at 3:25 am...
3 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
757137 tn?1347196453
I would not be too concerned about "everything I am told or read says he needs to sleep on his own." It is a big world with divers customs, and the foreign countries I have lived in are more child-friendly than ours. Why not just do what your instinct tells you? In any case, whatever the "experts" are saying now, they will be saying something different in 10 years' time. It's not as though we were talking science.

By the way,have you ever thought to adopt a little boy or girl to share your son's life? Two are easier to rear than one. And more fun.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for your reply; he is an only child, and after years of fertility treatments, we were blessed to have him, but won't be having another.  My husband and I have been married going on 21 years now, and we take turns getting up in the middle of the night with our son. My husband works, from home, and I am a stay-at-home mom, so we are very lucky to both be at  home with our son all day, and I am very lucky to have my husband around if I need a quick nap during the day. My son goes to pre-school twice a week, so there is that time to nap as well. Our son has slept in a regular bed for a few years now, so we are able to sleep in his bed with him when it gets really bad. When we do that, he sleeps very well. I guess he just wants the company, and I can't really blame him there, but everything I am told or read says he needs to sleep on his own.  
Helpful - 0
757137 tn?1347196453
Little children often do not like to sleep in a room alone. For that reason I always doubled mine up. If he is an only child, you don't have that option. I am concerned about you missing sleep. It can have serious health repercussions and I speak from experience, unfortunately.  Does he go to nursery school? If so, take a long nap while he is away.

Another possibility is putting his crib in your room. That may be comforting enough for him to stay asleep. In some parts of the world this is what they would do.

Where is his father in all this?
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Child Behavior Community

Top Children's Health Answerers
189897 tn?1441126518
San Pedro, CA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments