4yr old social behavior

[bayareamom]

Hello,
We have a 4yr3m old girl.  She is a great kid,easy from 2m old in lot of aspects. She has been going to a play & preschool from almost 9m age. But on the last one year, what I noticed is she is very quite in her school and takes long time to talk to other kids and almost very long time to talk to adults even if they are our friends for long time and visit us often. She observes a lot and do want to visit people, enjoys going to school, very adoptive in new places as we travel vcations a lot. I do playdates as well. So almost after 1-1/2yr she made few friends but still with adults she will not respond.  Now we moved to a new place and this behvaior is keeping me awake in the night as I am sending this note at 2am.

I did talk to her teachers and they say it is her personality. But she grasps things quickly. At home she plays by herself fine.

Anything I need to be worried about?

thanks

[jdtm]

Anything to be worried about?  Probably not.  However, you might want to search the term "selective mutism" which is a severe social anxiety disorder in which stressful environments can render a child mute (in addition to other behaviours).  The main difference between shyness and selective mutism is function.  If her shyness is hindering her life in ways as eating, sleeping, communicating, etc., then you might want to see a specialist dealing with anxiety disorders.  By the way, the earlier the diagnosis and thus treatment, the better the prognosis.

[Cleveland Mom]

More likely than not your dtr. has an introverted temperment.  If this is the case this is something she inherited the way one inherits red hair or brown eyes.  Introverted kids and adults have a rich inner world.  They tend to be quiet and may take awhile to warm up to social situations.  They tend to make a few very good friendships as oppossed to having a large network of friends, and acquaintences.  They are often quite sensitive and think deeply.  They tend to prefer being alone or in the company of close friends and family members.  Many intellectually gifted persons are introverts.  Today, there are several good books about introverted children.  I am an introverted adult. I wish I understood my own introversion many years ago.  Its taken me most of my lifetime to be comfortable with it.  Please, check out one of these books.  Also, good information about introversion can be found on the internet.  Best wishes...