Well, first of all, ask a professional steam cleaning company how well they can clean urine out of carpet - I'd recommend replacing the carpet and padding underneath, though.
Second, neither church attendance nor a strict home life has anything to do with where a child chooses to relieve oneself or whether he's afraid of the dark. In fact, hearing about demons and the devil could encourage fear in him - and strict rules could cause him to believe it was better to pee on the floor than in his bed (have you ever told him to not pee on the floor?)
Third, leave the bathroom light on. A six year old being afraid of the dark is normal and does not cause "problem" children.
Fourth, chill. You cannot undo any damage that has been done. Just start over with the new carpet (or extensively cleaned) and light the path to the bathroom for your son. Urine is far from the filthiest substance in the world and actually has the ability to kill bacteria (not that I recommend rolling around on the carpet).
My first thought, honestly, is you're naming yourself "winner mom". You've put that in your name, and in your signature. I am VERY put off by that.
Secondly, I don't think a child should ever be "moved up", especially a boy, because they can't POSSIBLY keep up with boys a year older.
Additionally, who has carpet in their kitchen? ?? I actually have a friend who has done that, I can't believe it.
I think at this point you need to move Dylan back to his normal age group - or he'll always be a smaller, less socially skilled boy in his grade - and you need to develop a restroom on the first floor of your home, de carpet your kitchen, and maybe scale back your name from winner mom to something more accepting of your children.
I agree entirely with RockRose.
Give the poor anxious kid a break. You potty trained at 2 when a lot of boys don't get there until 3 1/2, and he has peed in his bed as recently as last year and you did not see that as an anxiety symptom? He's scared of the dark and has been so frightened that he will pee in the kitchen rather than go upstairs, and yet he doesn't feel he can tell you this? Your rules for the kids are either not very accomodating of the reality of being 6, or not very understanding of the reality of being him.
The urine on the carpet in the kitchen is not going to harm your little ones. I'd remove the carpet if you are that worried about sanitation anyway, food residue on carpet is a lot worse, and carpeted kitchens get to smelling like greasy-spoon restaurants after a while. Sorry if it grosses you out so much that this happened, but urine is sterile when it comes out. Seriously, why aren't you more concerned about the mental state of a child and less concerned about your own icksville reaction to urine in the carpet? When one is 6, one doesn't know too much, and doesn't know how to cope with fears very well. Sometimes this has family consequences, like urine on the carpet. You will all live! Just wait until one of the kids brings home lice from school or pinworms from playing outside. Once my sister brought home a tapeworm when she visited India. It's just part of life.
My little guy is only 7 months so I don't have much experience here...only a bit of mom instinct I guess. It sounds to me like the little one is very afraid of something. He is only 6. Perhaps it might help to encourage him to wake one of you up when he has to go the the bathroom at night? So someone could go with him? It just seems to me that children that age still do things like wet the bed and go through all sorts of normal issues. My biggest concern would be that he felt ashamed. He should feel comfortable and able to tell you about his fears and any "mistakes" he might make. Personally, that would be my biggest worry...his shame and fear of telling me. Maybe that's just me though.
Brace yourself, a special mom confession. My grandparents lived in an old farm house when I was little. It was perfectly fine in daylight but turned kind of spooky at night. I spent usually a month at a time with them in summer with my mom and sister and as I got to be 5 to 6ish I would stay a week or so by myself. My room was a bedroom on the second floor. My grandparents slept on the first floor. The room they put me in was this massive, tile floor room and the way you got to the second floor was this closet door looking thing and about a 1000 steps up to the bedrooms. No bathroom on the second floor so I was suppose to come down those 1000 stairs through the dark living room and into the dark kitchen and into the little half bath------- at the time this felt like 2000 miles . . . 2000 scary miles. I guess I peed in the corner of the room so I didn't have to go downstairs. I don't really remember doing it but remember that I did do it and would see it in the morning. I'd say nothing as if my hyper clean grandma wouldn't notice. Well she did. She never said a word to me nor did my mother---------- but they moved me down to a twin bed they put on the first floor for me. Right next to the bathroom.
Your story does not shock me except for the fact that you have carpet in the kitchen. I can't think of anything less practical.
good luck and don't make your boy feel bad for this but problem solve the bathroom issue so that it is easier for him to get there without being scared.
The child told you exactly what is wrong. Ask him if a light would make him feel safe. If not what would help. He seems to be a very bright child. I am sure he will find the words to tell you.
I had a five year old wetting at school. At first I thought it was just the excitement of the beginning of school. The following week it happened again. I asked him what the problem was but he wasn't sure. Not much than a week later, I was putting his clothes out for the next day and he says, " No NO NO..NOT THOSE.." pointing to the pants. I find out the zipper that didn't work. End of accidents at school.
They sell these potty things that hunters use, it's a bucket with a toilet seat on the top. Maybe you could get one for your son, and put it in or by his room, so he doesn't have to make the scary walk.