6-year old boy driving us crazy - HELP!

[CustomDraper]

My 6-year old boy has always been difficult.  Since he's been in pre-school, notes have come home from teachers about persistent temper tantrums, hitting a teacher, or fighting with a classmate.  We lost a nanny once due to his behavior, after she claimed she couldn't deal with his tantrums.  The problem didn't seem extreme enough to think he had a real disorder, so we've never sought professional help. We just attributed it to immaturity.

Now he's in first grade and the bad behavior continues.  While it's not constant, he is certainly one of the more troublesome kids in the class.  As he's gotten older, he's more belligerent than ever.  He's hot and cold, and changes on a dime.  My husband and I walk on eggshells around him, as we cringe at the thought of saying something that will set him off.  He doesn't listen to anything we say and doesn't respond to punishment or spanking.

He cries and whines incessantly.  Now that he's older, he does more shouting and even cursing.  He uses the words stupid and idiot and we've consitently reprimanded him for this, but he doesn't listen.  Other parents seem appalled.  

We're at a point where we don't want to be around him as he causes so much stress in the house, but of course love him so.  We have a daughter who is 9-yrs old and has never demonstrated this type of behavior.

Any suggestions are welcome!!

[shazza15]

i have a 6 year boy to and its so good to read that im not the only one who is going through the behaviour problems. my son is prefect at school the teacher loves having him in class. but at home is a different story. He can be such a loving and caring boy then in 1 sec it can change. He is normally good when his dad is home but can be so rude and nasty to me. His always hitting his 3 year old brother and yelling at him. im at my wits end with it all ive tryed everything like putting him in his bedroom,taking his ds off of him, going to bed early and the list goes onif antone has any idea please help!!

[chapmanmum]

WOW, this sounds excactly like Im writing this. My son is six and has also always been my difficult child. He sounds so much like your son. Doesnt respond to anything. At the moment he is banned from the computer, his bike and watching his favorite tv shows. Ive taken that extra step with him and taken him to see a doctor and he thinks it is all behavioural for attention. This is so hard as I also have a 9 year old daughter who tests me at times but otherwise loving and caring. My son has his loving moments but not very often. I dont feel he has any add or anything like that, I think he needs to just grow up and mature just like you, Im just noticing he hasnt been doing any schoolwork. His teacher isnt wonderful and because my son does this slyly and he is not one of the naughtiest boys in the class he doesnt get watched upon as much. His putting his work in his school bag so he can avoid showing the teacher.
He clashes with my mum so she has stopped visiting as much. He is always rude to her. He swears just like your son.
Anyway Im at my wits end with him. I love him so much and he needs to learn some apprpriate behaviour. Im sorry im not much help to you but im interested to hear some suggestions from others too. GOOD LUICK!!