I agree with astros18 about why after only 8 weeks in this relationship you would want to push ANY of the kids in this. It sounds like this 6 year old needs some discipline, but I also think that at this point in the relationship, it's not really wise to start openly arguing over how each of you raise your kids. It's not fair to anyone in this situation. I also agree that you should break it off while it's still in this stage. And if he's really into you, he'll work things out with his daughter and set some boundries. It just sounds to me like it's too soon to push these relationships on any of the children.
Thank you for the advice. It helps to know how others see it. I would like to comment that I don't act like being a 6 year old is halfway to adult hood but having two kids and being divorced. I do know that kids need boundaries in order to "grow" develop, and have a good self-esteem. Letting a 6 year old always have their way, control of the house, as well as what you do and when, is not healthy. Both mom & dad think the other is doing the parenting. In reality neither of them is they both are spending their time trying to make it up to her.
I realize she cries because things are too much for her. Part of the time she cries is to get what she wants (cuz it works), the other part is because she is overwhelmed and does not think she can do what is being asked of her. She is only 6 and has no idea how to express her feelings but to cry. Dad calls it "theatrical" I call it a real problem.
I was running, then Dad asked why- I told him to stop and think about what the divorce did to him, his life and how hard it was for him to "deal" and get through it. Then told him to put his daughter in his shoes during it all and asked how did she deal with it? She went through it ALL just as you did. Dad has set up a session with a professional.
"Project" it may very well be. Our little ones today are the future of tomorrow.
Run as fast as you can before you get even more emotionally attached. This man needs to address his daughter's emotional needs before he can be a good father, ex-husband, or boyfriend to you. You act like being a 6 year old is halfway to adulthood. This little girl has been thru a very painful emotional loss and needs attention and love to help her thru it. I also have to question the wisdom of one big happy family after only 8 weeks of dating. If you want to stay in this relationship, back off a lot, and insist that he deal with his problems with his daughter on his own before slowly starting to reintroduce you and your children into her life. This is about her not you.
Take it from someone who's learned the hard way, break it off. He'll end up being a "project" rather than a partner; your own kids don't deserve this big negative influence on their environment; you won't be able to "fix" how he's dealing with his daughter and ex, which will become a source of constant pain and eventually resentment...then big-time regret. She's right: RUN!
If you've only been with this man for 8 weeks, my advice to you is RUN! These things do not tend to get better because he's probably feeling guilty about the divorce and will always be seeking to 'make it up to her'. I feel for you, but my sense is if you incorporate this situation into your own family, everyone will lose. Just my opinion. Good luck.
Yes, it is a big problem, both in relation to how this little girl is developing and to the relationship between you and her father. You are not likely to work this out simply by talking about it with your friend. The two of you might benefit from scheduling 3-6 sessions with a counselor for the express purpose of making some headway in this conflict.