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8 year old son ignored by peers

I have an almost 8 year old son, who is very smart in school, and very social. He has always  had a hard time with social situations though He is an only child, so he has always had trouble sharing, and has always wanted everyone to do things the way he thought they should be done, not to be bossy but because logically, it's done that way, until the last 2 years. He has become quite a great little man, but I took him to a birthday party at a pool tonight, and I was very upset by what I saw. There were 10 boys, and while playing ball in the pool, as much as my son tried, they looked right through him and never gave him the ball. He was so saddened, and went to the corner of the pool alone and was almost crying. He did continue to try through out the party but besides a few kids here and there, he had little connection to the others. I was heart broken. I went through this in school, and was severely bullied for being overweight. I am so scared that my son Is headed towards that path and I don't know what to do. I was so scarred by it myself, that even today I will never forget my bad experiences. I just want him to feel included, and feel liked by his class mates.
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
    First he is only 7 and this is an age group where boys are not always the best at sharing.   Rockrose's idea of talking to his teacher to get a better idea of how he does with his peers is a good one.  I am not sure that this pool party was the best place to judge how he is doing.   10 boys in a pool playing ball (with only one ball) is not a good way to get everyone involved.  Baseball has only 9 kids and most are standing around.
     Fortunately, (and probably due to law suits) bullying in schools today no where near as bad as it once was .... although, I am sure it still does happen.  But, if it is reported and not dealt with - the consequences for the school can be costly.
   You also might want to look into buying "Join in and Play"  https://www.amazon.com/Join-Play-Learning-Get-Along/dp/1575421526/ref=pd_sim_14_11?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1575421526&pd_rd_r=9HT3ZE04R0X6C83BGRV7&pd_rd_w=peQ6I&pd_rd_wg=T3oXv&psc=1&refRID=9HT3ZE04R0X6C83BGRV7    or
   "Share and take Turns"      https://www.amazon.com/Share-Take-Turns-Learning-Along/dp/1575421240/ref=pd_sim_14_1?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1575421240&pd_rd_r=SF7689PNSQP39SSQSDJ9&pd_rd_w=RIxxs&pd_rd_wg=em7Ko&psc=1&refRID=SF7689PNSQP39SSQSDJ9
     These books are aimed at this age group and are meant to be read aloud and talked about/practiced with the kids.
Helpful - 0
13167 tn?1327194124
kkitchen,  I believe that personality is partly inherited.  Kids who are leaders are born that way,  and kids who are followers also are born that way. So it seems likely he inherited your personality,  and is struggling with large group interaction.  

I wonder if he does better one on one than in groups?  Did you tend to do better one-on-one as a child?

Can you foster relationships with like minded boys,  one on one?  

Also I don't think you should discount the observation that he's bossy - that's off-putting to other kids,  and may be a reason they weren't fully including him.  

It's a positive sign that he was invited.  

Can you talk to his teacher about how he's doing socially at school and work on his difficulties?

Helpful - 0
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