I am now a 30 year old woman. I didn't like panties as a child. I consider myself to be a normal person & a normal adult. I still don't wear them very often- only when I am having my monthly or wearing a shorter dress. It was just a comfort issues for me then- -same as now. I remember my mom wanting me to wear them..and I would occasionally, just to please her, but I hated it.
As for the chafing issue while wearing jeans that I read in another comment-I have never had that issue.
Sometimes it is best to just let someone be comfortable--& I believe a child should have that option too. Of course, sometimes, panties are a must, so that's a conversation that'll need to be had at some point. Modesty & manners etc.
I have 3 children myself. They are excellent, kind, respectful, intelligent children. I have been very lucky. I always give my kids the opportunity to share their thoughts and ideas on different things. Happy kids, happy mommy, happy life.
Best of luck to you!
MichelleJ71. I wouldn't be so quick to diagnose your daughter with the aforementioned disorders. There are plenty of woman who don't wear panties these days; as well as there are plenty of people who are content on being nudists. All people have their own personalities, and, just because your daughter doesn't seem to follow your "lead" nor your "way of thinking", doesn't mean that she has some form of "dysfunction". Maybe she just doesn't like the way the panties rub her privates; maybe she just doesn't like wearing the panties. You mentioned that she wears "sun dresses"; this could also prove that she wears sun dresses because she doesn't like anything rubbing her privates (e.g. pants or shorts). Another thought, she may be following her "ballet and gymnastics" classmates.
I also want to point out how "traits" are passed down through the "genes". My personal story fits the bill here. My natural father abandoned me just before I was born. I never met the man until I was about 14 years old. Yet, I subconsciously followed his character features as well as his way of thinking on several topics. I lived with him for a brief moment when I was 18-19 years old. His normal routine after he got home from work was to take a shower and then lounge around his house buck naked. There were no young children around him, just me and his wife. That's when I began to discover how much I followed his traits. I'm 49 years old now, and I still can't stand to wear clothes within the privacy of my own home (I'm also a "nudists" and can't stand to wear clothes at all). I like the freedom and lack of restriction (that could also be taken as friction). Do I consider myself "weird" or "abnormal"? No. I actually consider myself to be more normal than others because I am not afraid to be myself, avoiding the "stereotype".
She says that she "doesn't like the way they feel". That's a good indication that the panties are "rubbing her the wrong way" (pun intended). If it's a matter of principle, then she will grow out of it; but if she really doesn't like the way they feel, then she most likely will not be able to wear the panties. Your "force" or "bribery attempts" will only make her rebel further (as she sounds like a strong willed girl; it sounds like a case of just wanting to be her"self").
I also highly doubt that it is "abuse" from her father or others, as that action would likely make her wear more clothes to cover the shame.
how did you notice she had no panties on under her dress on way to the party?, did you say anything to her and make her go put some on?, or did you let her go to party without?... ever ask her dad if he has seen her without panties on while she is at his home?, have a feeling she will outgrow it
I bet when she gets her periods she'll wear panties, even underneath her leotards! Even if it's against her will which she'll be at the verge to cry!
Don't worry! I didn't like wearing panties or bras growing up. Only because no matter what they were made of, I always chaffed and it was so uncomfortable. Especially in the summer and because I overheat and sweatsweat easily it would only take an hr for a rash to form. My parents and grandparents asked why. I told them "because they hurt" and they left it at that. It may just be because they feel constricting and uncomfortable. It's ok. It's normal.
That's totally normal. When I was a child I struggled with wearing underwater and then bras. I didn't want to wear them bc they were not confortable, and I felt like we're suffocating or constructing me. But my mom found out and made me wear them. So I got used to it.
You should be strict with her, if you let this go, she will continue to get used to not wearing them, and then it will be too hard to change later.
Also I also agreed to wear the underwear because when you wear pants and jeans, they will contantly rub against you with movement and it will give you a rash in the crotch.
Your the adult Act like it. Parents are to teach the childten Right from Wrong!!
Quit being a worldly parent listening to (Political Correct Pansies)!
Ya hav a real ?
BIBLE - translation-
Better Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
Simple enough even I figured it out. And I was raised with *** whoopin's when needed.
You had said "don't want to Invade her Privacy". Get a Clue Your the Parent (ADULT) , a Child of that age Doesn't Know Better! That is why We the Parents Must Teach Them. INVADE NOW, or Have way more problems down the road. Believe me with that cuz I was That Kid!!
Payed dearly with it too
I come from an area in the 80's that was rife with child abductions and molestation. If I couldn't act right in a dress (I was a tomboy) my parents either made me wear shorts under my dress or other I had to wear pants. Later on in school I wore shorts under my skirts since all the little boys were always trying to peep up girls skirts and I didn't want that kind of embarrassment I saw other girls go through. Skorts were awesome. Yeast infections and bad people are the biggest fears.
She has sensory processing issues. U need to gradually desensitise her. She is hypersensitive to itchy clothings n pressure.
When I was little probably about her age , I didn't like underwear or socks either.They were must so uncomfortable. I eventually outgrew it . just let her not wear them or tell her if she wears her underwear everyday for a whole week you'll get her a reward or have a mommy daughter day. Shell eventually start wearing them . good luck
There's always boys boxers. Loser and not so tight, x
I don't see what the big issue is. If she doesn't want to wear panties, then so be it. Just as long as she's not giving unwanted flashes to everyone. When she gets her period, she'll start wearing them.
I remember when I was younger my mom woud be mad I never wore my underwear... I out grew it. And I'm normal
maybe someone is taking them off of her
What you do not mention is if you require her to don panties when you find she isn't wearing any. Not wearing them cannot be left to her discretion.
I would also recommend talking to an OT about starting brushing and/or massage therapy. My daughter who has autism used to hate socks and having long sleeves or pants on. Time and occupational therapy have helped her move past a lot of this. I highly doubt she avoids undies due to abuse, as it sounds more like a sensory issue like specialmom said.
I would also make sure she doesn't have a UTI or yeast infection. I would talk to her pediatrician about it. Good luck
Hi there. Well, you are describing a classic sensory integration system related to tactile dysfunction. This is when something a person wears is so uncomfortable that they can't tolerate it.
My son has had this with tags in his shirt, seams in his socks and tags/seams in his underwear. Certain material is also off limits.
I do try to accomdate my son. They make underwear without tags now. I encourage you to look for these. I would make it a rule that she must wear underwear, period. But that you will make every effort to find her some that are comfortable. Let her wear boxers around the house if she wants to.
They do something in occupational therapy called 'brushing' which helps with tactile dysfunction. My son is now 8 and at one point really resisted socks. I had a rule that he had to wear them when we left the house in winter but in the house, he didn't. With brushing, his tolerance of socks got much better.
Please google sensory processing disorder (SPD is an excellent web site) and tactile dysfunction. If you have any questions after doing so, let me know! My own son has this disorder and tactile dysfunction (which has gotten significantly better) as well as I am the community leader of the sensory integration disorder forum here at med help. I'd be happy to help in any way I can! Peace and luck