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9 yo friend touched my 6 yo son's penis?

Today, I found out that my son's 9 year old friend touched his penis at some point in the last year. I actually found out through a little girl that I babysit, who came downstairs and told me that he had told her that, so I asked him directly if his friend had touched his penis and he answered, simply, "Yes." He did not seem overly concerned, but a little uncomfortable. I have always tried to instill in my children that under no circumstances should someone other than your parents or a doctor ever ask to see/touch your genitalia. I was very shocked, but remained nonchalant, and asked him a few more questions, such as, has it happened more than once? (No.) Where did it happen? (His house.) Did he tell you to do anything else? (Play video games.) Did he ask you to touch his penis? (I don't remember.) I am very concerned because my son is very small for his age, and his friend is quite large. I haven't noticed his friend being secretive - they typically play (supervised) at my house, and not often at his house, due to a lack of electronic monitoring on his parent's part. I am freaking out on the inside, but am not sure what to do. Talk to the boy? His parents? Is this normal? I would appreciate any help I could get.
2 Responses
Avatar universal
Call Child Protective Services. Do not let your child go to the other boy's house anymore. The parents are not providing adequate supervision. It is hard to determine the sexual nature/intention of the other child based on the information you have. On the one hand, the child's behavior may be a developmentally normal curiosity about other people's genitals. On the other hand, the child may have been (or is currently being) sexually abused, which leads to developmentally inappropriate sexualized behavior. That is not for you to decide or investigate. Child  Protective Services will make the decision to start an investigation if they feel it is warranted based on the information available. The parents will not be told who called CPS so your report will remain confidential.
Avatar universal
I disagree to a point with the other commenter. Children around these ages, especially the older boy, tend to get curious about such hushed things and take it upon themselves to go exploring. If your son is not in any sort of distress, and you HAVE questioned him, there's a VERY good chance that that was all it was. And all though one might say "it's not 100%" but it's pretty close given the circumstances, and the most beneficial action to take, for everyone, would simply be to keep an 'extra eye' on him and make sure they are always supervised in your home. Only allow your son to hang out with him in your home, if you wish. Calling CPS as the other responder has suggested, could end in disaster; with the potential to unnecessarily traumatize the lives of not just one, but two boys. And the likely inevitable backfire which could cause your little one to lose a good friend. I think responding in such a manner over this incident given the circumstances is VERY extreme, and may very well do more harm than good. Curiosity/exploring is actually much more common than you think. And very likely the children do not understand that this behavior in inappropriate, so punishing may not send the right message.
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