Accident Frustrations

[FairyGirl15]

I have a 5 year old daughter who has been potty trained for 2 years. Out off the blue one day she started to have accidents. We were supportive and tried to be understanding. This has been going on for quite sometime now. I have taken her to the doctor and rulled out any bladder infections or anything that may be bothering her. We've been keeping an eye on her and can tell when she needs to go and suggest that she stop what she's doing and go to the bathroom. But she is adament about not needing to go and then of course she wets herself.

It has gotten pretty rediculous. She went from being totally dry at nights from nighttime accidents as well. I eventully got tired of having to change her bedding and clothes at least 3 times a night and gotten her pull ups to wear at night. I told her if she goes 3 nights with out having any accidents then she can sleep with her underware on. At day, she wears her underware. Sometimes she's really good about going to the bathroom. But the other day she was playing with my mother, peed her pants and whiped it off her leg and kept playing. My mother thinks she is being lazy. I am starting to think so too. At first I was thinking it was a faze. As I am 8 months pregnant with our 2nd child, I thought it was just her reverting and wanting attention.

This morning she just peed her pants while I was helping her brush her teeth. I am beyond frustrated. How can I make her stop these accidents and be a big girl? She starts Kindergarden in the Fall and I am worried she will be teased at school with these accidents.

[skepticalpeach]

First off, stop being frustrated. Calmly deal with each incident by itself. Speak calmly and tell her it's ok. The second you start getting angry and making it into a big deal she will react and make it into a game. 5 year olds love to be defiant and if you get overly angry and upset it just eggs them on.
I know plenty of people who have had their children in pull ups at night until they were older. It is highly possible that she is just reacting to the prospect of having to share her life and family.

[margypops]

Yes in my opinion you hit the nail on the head , she has heard a lot of talk no doubt about the new, coming baby , possible all the family had also been talking about the coming event ..maybe you have bought baby clothes and diapers ready for the event, and as you say your self she could be looking for extra attention .This is very normal I suggest you let her get things ready, baby';s room, make sure she knows she will be part of baby's life and helping Mommy .She's feeling in secure so now its time to focus on her and ask other family members, grandparents to do the same .Don't make a huge issue about the wetting , frustrating though it may be ,ignoring and maybe a star reward for not doing it may help, focus on her positive side and praise her when you see her doing something right ..good luck

[FairyGirl15]

Thank you for your suggestions. I have been having her involved with the pregnancy from the day I found out. She has been helping me prepare and she even picked the name of her new sibling. I've been extra vigialent to keeping her included in everything, from picking out clothes, to getting her own activities and stuff for the baby shower which is this up coming weekend. Im not sure if its really bothering her as she is so excited about becoming a big sister.

I will not be so frustrated the next time she has an accident and will try your suggestions. Hopefully she'll grow out of this faze soon.

[margypops]

That's great she is doing things with you for baby, she could still be concerned at all the attention baby is getting ..You are doing great and I am sure it is a phase ..treat any accident with nonchalance,  .if it is attention seeking then she will soon realise its not getting her anywhere.

[ylime1207]

I don't have any kids yet so no actual help here, but I did just read an article about a study done about bed wetting.  They found that a large portion of the children wetting the bed at night were also suffering from constipation.  Parents of the children didn't even realize they were constipated but the exams showed them backed up.  Once those children had their constipation addressed, it dramatically reduced their bed wetting.  

This may have nothing to do with what's going on with your daughter, but might be worth investigating!