Dear Pat,
The very early years of a child's development are crucial. Good parenting in the first couple of years lays the foundation for trust and security. When children receive inadequate parenting during their early years, they are severely compromised in their ability to trust other people, to let themselves be dependent on others, to experience happiness and satisfaction.
Your granddaughter has had a difficult beginning to her life, and she will require a significant degree of help. She appears to display an attachment disorder - i.e., a deficit in the ability to form trusting relationships with others, particularly with those in a parenting role. It'll be important for her to receive professional services, and for you to avail yourself of such help as well. You are facing a daunting task, and you are correct in seeing the need for some support. Please, as quickly as you can, get to a pediatric mental health professional. That person can both provide direct therapeutic services for your granddaughter and arrange the types of supports you'll need. One significant feature of help will be to develop a plan for managing the behavior within the home.
It's unusual to consider medication for a child so young, but it's not unheard of by any means. Part of the mental health evaluation can be directed toward consideration of whether pharmacological treatment should be a componenent of the intervention package.
Try not to get caught up in adjectives like antisocial or sociopathic - those are scary words, lead to pessimism and, in any case, are not appropriate to apply to a five-year-old. Try to focus on the behavior, positive and negative, and respond to it with a reasonable, systematic plan.
Thank you for your response doctor. I should probably add that I am a nurse who has worked extensively with mentally retarded children and adults, and also within the prison system. I have already been through this with my daughters who are grown and my biological mother... these problems have encompassed most of my life. I, too, hate to apply such terms as sociopathic to my grandaughter, but after a life time of this I just can't afford to pull any punches where this child is concerned. I have lost 2 children to drugs and alcahol and I simply want this child to have a chance and honestly facing this seems to me to be the best route for my daughter/grandaughter. I cannot sugar coat it as I did with my other children and no, I too am not in favor of pharmacology, but am still interested in finding diets that may apply to this disorder. Thanks again, Pat
Thank you for your response doctor. I should probably add that I am a nurse who has worked extensively with mentally retarded children and adults, and also within the prison system. I have already been through this with my daughters who are grown and my biological mother... these problems have encompassed most of my life. I, too, hate to apply such terms as sociopathic to my grandaughter, but after a life time of this I just can't afford to pull any punches where this child is concerned. I have lost 2 children to drugs and alcahol and I simply want this child to have a chance and honestly facing this seems to me to be the best route for my daughter/grandaughter. I cannot sugar coat it as I did with my other children and no, I too am not in favor of pharmacology, but am still interested in finding diets that may apply to this disorder. Thanks again, Pat
Dear Pat,
I certainly don't want to encourage you to go down a path that will be fruitless. I know of no dietary approach that will make any appreciable change in a child who displays attachment disorder. The brain chemicals you mentioned, all neurotransmitters, can be altered, but chiefly via prescription antidepressants and anxiolytics.