Asperger's?? ADD??

[sbink]

I have thought Asperger's for a long time. He would be high functioning, no doubt. He is 6 years old and will be 7 in September. He goes to public school and will be in first grade next school year.

1. He picks his fingernails. All of his nails are down to the quick. His cuticles look awful. They will even sometimes bleed. We haven't been able to clip his nails in months.

2. He simply must say what he wants to say all the time. He does not acknowledge that somebody else is talking. We will ask, "Did you hear me and Mommy talking?" He will always reply, "Yes, but..."

3. He can't take a bath without asking at least 2-3 questions that have no concern with his bathing. It will be completely off the wall, but he will not stop until you answer his question.

4. He is terrified of certain things, such as getting into a pool. It was a kiddie pool that was 18 inches deep. His little sister was in it and she couldn't even walk yet. Playgrounds are another problem. He just started stepping on public playgrounds a year or so ago.

5. Behavior is really bad at times. This only happens at home or while we are out, never at school. He cries very easily. He has no idea why he is crying either. You can simply say, "Do you want to lose your Wii for a day?" and he will tear up. It's just strange how much he cries over stuff.

6. He will not let you touch him if he is hurt in some way. For example, if he scrapes his knee. He will cry his eyes out more because you want to put some neosporin on it than when he scraped it.

7. Nobody has been able to cut his hair except for my husband or my husband's mom. I tried taking him to my aunt (whom he knew very well) and he cried until he almost got sick. It was awful!

Any ideas? Is this just normal? He has actually gotten better about some things. I am a teacher. So maybe I am just paranoid about stuff. Thanks for any help. Even ideas to correct some things.

[KAnneH]

It sounds like several of the behaviors you described are not abnormal for a child his age with developmental delays.  Do you feel he is immature for his age socially??  You mentioned that he has improved upon some of these peculiar behaviors, perhaps all he needs is more time to grow and develop in these areas.  My 7 yr. old son was displaying many concerning behaviors in kindergarten last year, and he has since out grown all of them. Sometimes, all it takes to help a child "move along," is time and the right environment.  With my son, he just really didn't "gel" with his kindergarten teacher, and therefore developed many coping behaviors to get through his school day.  It got to a point where he would cry and throw a fit before going to school.  Once he entered 1st grade, he got on the bus and enjoyed every minute of school!  

In addition to consulting a doctor, I would suggest giving this child many opportunities to master the skills he's lacking in....small play-groups outside of school, and play-dates at home maybe.  Good luck!

[sbink]

I haven't ever paid that close attention. He really pays no attention to his sister when she gets hurt. He will just say she fell and continue on his way. He would go without a jacket everyday during the winter, if I didn't tell him 20 times before we left for school to get it and put it on. Once it is on, he will HAVE to zip it BEFORE we leave. He will not make the connection that he can do it in the car on the way to the babysitter's to drop sister off.

I will pay attention to that tomorrow. I will give him more opportunities to infer and see how he reacts.

[jdtm]

One question - can he connect the dots?  By that I mean - can he infer?  For example - if you say it is raining outside, would he know without your saying so that "boots" would be a required footwear.  Or can he understand jokes and nuances in words?  Can he empathize with someone who has been hurt?