Biting at day care

[mommy87]

My daughter is 14 months and she goes to daycare.They say she bites everyday for no reason. I dont know whst to do. They say they try everything telling her no.no bite and take her away from that situation. what can I do if im not there. Do kids bite for no reason

[adgal]

I just want to comment on Tiredbuthappy's comments. What she said about some daycares expecting toddler's to behave like preschoolers was exactly my experience with my first daycare.  My son was there from 13 months old to 16 months old.  During his stay there he became increasingly aggressive - biting and hitting.  He also would bite himself, although not to the point of bleeding.  He was very unhappy his entire stay there, and I now believe this behavior was his way of letting me know.  There were other red flags, and ultimately, I moved him to another daycare.  Within a week of being there the change was quite amazing.  Much happier, and we had only a single incident of biting, then it ended.  He was a different child.  I don't know obviously if this is the case with your grandson, but her comments make so much sense based on my personal experience.  It is so worth looking into.  Best of luck to you.

[tiredbuthappy]

It is very normal for a 14 month old to bite. Not acceptable, but certainly normal. Understanding why it is happening can help prevent it, although it is not completely preventable in some cases.

First, I would look at when and where it is happening. Some toddler classrooms are not set up appropriately and basically expect toddlers to behave like preschoolers. Some will set out 3 different types of toys on the rugs or tables and expect the children to be able to play in small groups. This expectation is unreasonable as children that age should not be expected to naturally share. We try to teach it, but shouldn't expect it to be the norm. Not having verbal skills, these children often don't have other ways of expressing anger, frustration, fear, etc. They will bite. Toddlers should be given space to play and explore, and enough toys should be accessible for each child to be entertained. We model sharing and waiting our turns at this age but know that it is not going to happen over night.

It is also normal for children that age to explore the world with all of their senses and many do use their mouths. Providing the child with other sensory experiences can help alleviate the need to put things in her mouth. Toddlers should have access to supervised sand and water play.

If you know a child is a "biter" you do your best to minimize opportunities for biting. You model how to express wants and feelings verbally. You stay physically nearby to be able to intervene. The phase will eventually pass. If the child bites, remove her from the situation (usually time-out) and give attention to the victim. Teach the child to try to help the victim feel better (sorry, hugs, give a toy, etc).

All of these interventions take time and it is a learning process for the whole class. Expelling a child is generally not a solution, because the toddler certainly won't make the connection. And chances are the next kid that comes along will go through a biting phase. Good classroom management can help prevent many incidents. Some will happen, and it is unfortunate, but you can take many steps to prevent some.

[Ellinch2]

My 2 year old grandson has recently started biting his fingers to the point that they bleed and need Band-Aids. My daughter does not know how to deal with this. I have been reading these questions and responses and believe I understand that it is a response to anger from him that he does not know how to deal with. He gets very upset and even tries to hit her on the legs and hands. He did go through a stage about a year ago when he was teething that he tried to bite all the time. Then another child at day care bit him and left a mark.  He is put into a time out but it doesn't work for long. When he bit himself, he bit through the skin. That cannot be normal for a child because that is very painful.  I wonder if he is biting himself lately because he has an ear infection and it hurts. The doctors did not give my daughter any prescription for his ears. Do you think he may be biting himself to feel the pain other than in his ear?  Any suggestions and insight is much appreciated as my daughter does not know how to deal with this.

[babygirl6152]

they bite out of frustration- we had to expel one from 2 year old preschool- otherwise he was very loveable- we tried the words "kisses only"/ he got better one day then got worse again/ tried again/ got worse. Our director would not let him come back- We loved him so much- he was so sweet "in between chomping"/ he usually bit when someone got too close to what he thought was his space or had a toy he had played with earlier- so in his mind- it was his- he had never ever been in a situation where ALL toys weren't HIS- see?
Even if we understand it is out of frustration we can't put the other babies in this situation. Doe she have a pacifier? Is she teething? You can try Tylenol before she leaves the house- if she's teething it may help a lot....
My guess, since she is so young is- and of course I am just guessing- she is not used to being with other kiddos and she is overwhelmed. You may have to have a sitter that only watches HER- then try again next year. Or has she had lots of playgroup friends? Maybe I a wrong here. If you can't get a sitter they may have to put her in a playpen unless they are holding her. They probably will not do that- but they could try time outs for one minute and say no bite and give the other baby a LOT of attention- I really think she is too young to understand discipline and consequences - just my opinion.
Does she only bite children? Ever bite adults?

Good luck mom