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Boys kissing boys at eight years of age!

I found my son kissing his best friend (boy) who is also eight years old in the bathroom. After talking individualy to them, they both told me the same story. The other boy started, but then my son was also letting this to happen. Should I be concerned? I've always notice that the other boy likes to be touching o lot, I don't like that behavior, but I don't want to be mean about it.

Can somebody please help me?
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Avatar universal
People can control their anger. Being gay isn't something you can control. Trying to equate the two is just plain stupid and ignorant. Being gay isn't deviant behavior, just because its not normal for you doesn't mean its not normal for everyone. You don't get to pick who you love, thats the way love works.
Helpful - 2
3 Comments
Yes, but they were eight years old, bro... Don't you think that's a little young to be making out in the bathroom?
Very, at that age it has to be something theory are exposed to… YouTube, tiktok, etc….
*They are
Avatar universal
I nannied for a 5-year-old who was absolutely sure of his orientation, so a frank conversation about his future goals, such as what he sees for himself in the future, can offer a lot of insight toward your son's natural orientation. For example, does he ever mention being married one day?  Having a wife?  Don't be afraid to be curious as kids love to talk about their dreams!  :)
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Just leave him be and support him no matter what . If you dont something will happen and youll regret it
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was around five when I kissed my best friend the first time. I'm a female and from my earliest memories I was always interested in other girls. When I was nine my grandmother caught us kissing in my room. She forbid me from seeing Jessica ever again and punished me for what she caught us doing.  She used her belt on me until she was so winded she needed her inhaler. Then she beat me some more. Then came the yelling and the ugly comments about dykes and did I want to grow up to be a filthy deviant who was an abomination against nature? It went on for months. The end result was that I never did it again, and as I grew up I pursued relationships with males exclusively because I couldn't bring myself to be with a woman. The very idea made me nauseous with terror. It still does. My grandmother was delighted. There's only one problem, the last time I recall enjoying physical contact with another human being was when I was nine, with Jess. I have never felt the slightest sexual interest in a man and despite the fact that I have been in committed relationships I have never in my life experienced romantic pleasure with a partner. Ever. I don't enjoy his kisses or his touches. I don't like to cuddle or hold hands. I make myself do it even though it disgusts me. I act the part and pretend because it's what is expected of me and I can't bring myself to admit publicly what I am. I will never be able to have a positive romantic relationship. So I go through the motions and just pray for menopause so that it can stop and I don't have to force myself to physically satisfy my male partner ever again. You need to think carefully about how you handle this. It's hard for a man to fake interest and perform sexually. For women it's easy, a little lubricant and some theatrics and its simple to fake being into it...but men have to be aroused to perform and all good intentions in the world won't help if the body doesn't respond. It's also a terrible way to live, lying your way through life, its lonely and depressing and so terribly, endlessly empty. Be sure of your decision, whatever it may be...and keep in mind that there are lasting consequences to your handling the situation no matter what you choose.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
Please do what your heart desires, that was a horrible thing your grandmother did to you but you deserve to be happy.  
Avatar universal
This is less to do with sexual orientation (which I don't believe is on the radar for most kids of this age) and more to do with general sexual behaviour. Would you be as worried if he had been kissing a girl? I think that both are just expressions of growing up and experimenting. I still remember the first time I had an orgasm. I was 10 years old and I had been dry humping my 'my sized Barbie' I had had no sexual feelings toward boys at this stage, I was not molested as a child and i feel that this was just a very natural part of me discovering my sexuality. I did get caught by my little sister once and I tried to say that I was just trying to put her to bed and kiss her goodnight but the my sized Barbie got put in the attic after that...
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973741 tn?1342342773
This is an old post.  But kids at 8 shouldn't be kissing anyone in a romantic, mature way---  same sex or not.  And if they are, a parent needs to step in and redirect.  good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I tip my hat to you kittykatty.
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Avatar universal
its perfectly natural for this to happen. i remember as a young boy practicing french kissing with another boy at our babysitters. it went on for months. we would go out to the lawnmower shed and practice french kissing for 15-20 minutes at a time. in fact he would tell the other girls at the babysitters to leave the shed because we were trying to hide in there. when we were really just practicing french kissing.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I do not really think that you have anything to worry about. Children experiment ... I do however think how it is handled makes a bigger difference.

giving fear, disgust or making it bigger then it was should be avoided.

questioning them on how it happened makes sense. Then sit them down together and discuss what happened and concerns.

At age 9 my daughter and her friend were in her room and they were quiet so I checked on them.. I was shocked because I saw them masturbating. At first my reaction was "her friend is going home, now!" then I spoke to each one separately the story was the same and then I spoke to them together about "its completely normal to be curious about your body.....etc....." But I also made it understood this was something done in private not with girlfriends.

It opened a great conversation in which they were comfortable with.

how you handle it can make or break communication in the future for such topics..

I do not think there is a need to jump to a conclusion that this boy is gay. I think informing your child on the birds and the bee's may be a way to help your child make appropriate choices while he experiments.

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Avatar universal
Don't pull the MOM card it gets old really fast.
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Avatar universal
What you forget is our view of society is not necessarily the view of children. What you may see as homosexual behaviour maybe your sons way of showing affection to those people he values. I wouldn't make anything of it, but if you are concerned about it, talk to him about what is acceptable and what isn't.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I can understand your worry, but would it be souch a bad thing if your son where to be gay. Would you want your son to hind it from you because he thinks that you would be ashamed, or angry! He's 8 years of age his sexual disires havent even began to develop, as in one of the statements above children see to much to young, but there is nothing wrong with experimenting with the same sex of opposite. He will grow to no his own sexuality, trying to smoother him with the bible and 'words' from 'god' will not help but possibly make things worse. Try to take a step back and let your son figure him self out on his own terms and in his own time, just let him no you love him for WHOMEVER he is.  
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
I don't think it's the gay part, it's the being young part. But maybe it is the gay part. There's nothing wrong with it, you nor they can control who they like.
Avatar universal
Well - there's always the possibility that God is just an illusion caused by a glitch in the human brain. Be a shame to lay a heavy on the kid just because we've got glitchy software up top.

As a mother, I hope that my boys are safe and loved in their relationships. Not whether their partner has an in-ie or an out-ie.  xx kitty

ps - the correct grammar is "I didn't say God DOESN'T exist", not "I didn't say God DON'T exist". There's a 50 IQ point gap between the two.
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Avatar universal
I don't agree with your statements.."He has to answer to god" and "read him the bible". These are young boys we are talking about. Not your discrimination of being gay or not, and how god plays a role in this. Leave religion out of it!!! I have 3 younger brothers and they all did the same things. ALL kids experiment..BOTH GIRLS AND BOYS!!! I remember playing around with my friends just as much as I know my brothers did. I went to church every Sunday and was bored stiff. Reading what the bible says is not gonna help.The bible is meant to gain spiritual insight, not to throw down and tell and 8yr old God doesn't like gays. God made everyone in this world whether gay, straight, criminal, or not Most kids at that age don't want anything to do with church, god, or listening to parents talk about things they don't care about.

Kids are always going to experiment...thats how most kids realize they like girls, or boys. Making a big deal over something so simple will make the child be afraid to tell mom or dad things. Being told he's in trouble for kissing his friend confuses kids. Makes them not want to talk about those things because they have already been told its wrong. Watch from the sidelines, if theres really something going on and its bothering you then sit down and have an honest conversation about it. Don't get mad or angry because at this age they already know whether they can talk to parents and trust them. kids begin to lie to protect themselves from getting into trouble from parents.

Just my opinion though. I have a brother who came out gay last year. It was the best decision he has ever made. The walls he built up around him have come down. He's finally true to himself and is so much happier. As I said before our family went to church every sunday. My parents are devoted catholics. But did that stop them from reaching out to my brother? not at all. They love him and accept him just as well as the rest of my siblings have. Being a true Christian is loving people no matter what. Have an open mind...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Your son is growing up. He's experimenting and discovering who he is. Let him unfold at his own pace, in his own direction.  Be warm and welcoming for him and keep the communication channel open. I have 2 baby boys - they can be who ever they choose.  xx kitty
Helpful - 0
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