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Crying in Kindergarten

My 5 year old son cries at drop off and throughout the school day at a private school.  It is a full day system but his crying is isolated to the 2.5 hour kindergarten class.  He cries when he is asked to do something in front of the class, or when ever he feels like he does not know what to do.  He has trouble paying attention and can not bring him self to ask for help.  He also cries when he just doesn't want to do something that the rest of the class is doing.  This has been going on for 4 months.

My son cries when put into new situations.  He avoids conflict and uncomfortable situations.  He has been in an excellent day care facility since he turned 12 months but with little 1 on 1 time with children his age.

The teacher has two assistants in a class size of about 20.  The teacher and assistants are stern with him and tell him to cry only if he is hurt.  They tell him from across the room that he better not be crying or that he better stop crying.  I have talked with the teacher and the teacher feels his crying is shorter but not less frequent than 4 months ago, but she immediately switched to another subject and asked me to get him to focus and pay attention or they will have to move on without him.  The teacher’s response does seem a little agressive to me, but my wife and I feel that our past reactions to his behavior may be to blame for his sensitivity.  

As parents we focus on the positives of his school which offer daily swimming, and other activities which we know he likes.  We explain that the ed. part of his day is required for him to adjust well into 1st grade.  This gets him through a drop off with only a few tears.

We feel we need to give the teacher some direction.  The current process may be helping him get past the crying more quickly but school should not be this painful for him.  What direction should we provide the teacher?  Should we shorten his school day?
3 Responses
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242606 tn?1243782648
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
You might  well consider a shorter day for him. In addition, the teachers sound as if they are being pretty abrupt with him and not particularly empathic. Is that how you experience it? You might also consider having him evaluated by a pediatric mental health professional to consider the possibility of an anxiety disorder. It may be that he is simply sensitive by temperament (see The Challenging Child by Stanley Greenspan).
Helpful - 1
242606 tn?1243782648
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
It would be perfectly appropriate, in the context of a menatl health evaluation, to describe the very situation you find yourself in (it would be tantamount to 'ruling out' any emotional condition).
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks you for your response.  

I think the teachers are a little challenged and do not have the patience for to deal with the crying at times.  I believe they are also frustrated by the inability for him to communicate what precisely is bothering him.

As for a shorter day, I am limited on my options due to my work schedule and commute.  I could relocate him to the public school by our home which is just a 2.5 hour kindergarten class.  This would be the same school he will attend next year.  Our other option is to reduce his time to 5 hours instead of 9 hours for 3 days a week at his current school.

Thanks for the recommendation on the book.  I have ordered it.  We have planned to have our son evaluated by a mental health professional, but have not pulled the trigger.  We feel as though we as parents are somehow the problem and find it difficult to acknowledge that there is a disorder of some kind since he seems perfectly normal when in our home and he does not have problems in his other activities through out the day at school.
Helpful - 0

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