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Adopting teen daughter - behavior towards husband
My husband and I have begun fostering a 14yr old girl and I'm wondering if her behavior towards him may be inappropriate or indictive of a problem. She's had a tough life and has been a victim of sexual abuse. Her parents gave her up after a male relative of hers passed away (My guess is the relative did the caring and the parents were absent and wanted no part). We've known her for about a month so far.
I've noticed that she was extremely quick to ask to call us mom and dad (within the first few weeks of knowing her). She tells us she loves us (we tell her it back, it's true). We have every intention of adopting her.
I am noticing she enjoys rough housing with my husband. Recently, they were in the pool together and she was jumping all over him and jumping onto his back and hanging on (kind of like trying to ride a bull). She continued to do this repeatedly.
My husband definitely was caught off guard. He engaged back some, but also stayed around the parameter of the pool to try and create space and calm down the excitement. Afterwards, he asked me about it and I said it felt odd and he agreed he should have removed himself from the situation sooner (by simply saying he was ready to get out of the pool now). We're in our mid 30s and are learning as we go!
This got me thinking though, is this inappropriate behavior on her side? or is this more about bonding and a father figure, and possibly because she's looking forward to moving on with her life.
I've noticed that she was extremely quick to ask to call us mom and dad (within the first few weeks of knowing her). She tells us she loves us (we tell her it back, it's true). We have every intention of adopting her.
I am noticing she enjoys rough housing with my husband. Recently, they were in the pool together and she was jumping all over him and jumping onto his back and hanging on (kind of like trying to ride a bull). She continued to do this repeatedly.
My husband definitely was caught off guard. He engaged back some, but also stayed around the parameter of the pool to try and create space and calm down the excitement. Afterwards, he asked me about it and I said it felt odd and he agreed he should have removed himself from the situation sooner (by simply saying he was ready to get out of the pool now). We're in our mid 30s and are learning as we go!
This got me thinking though, is this inappropriate behavior on her side? or is this more about bonding and a father figure, and possibly because she's looking forward to moving on with her life.
This is a answer come too late (a year late) but I stumbled upon it unanswered, so I will leave this answer here for anyone else that may be googling answers + I'm curious as to if you have adopted her or not and what has happened.
There's a chance this girl is just trying to convince you, kind of like trying to look good for an interview. I believe you may be overthinking it because you're still young. But then maybe a therapist check may be a good option to be sure if there's any lingering issues
There's a chance this girl is just trying to convince you, kind of like trying to look good for an interview. I believe you may be overthinking it because you're still young. But then maybe a therapist check may be a good option to be sure if there's any lingering issues
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