Avatar universal

Does this mean he likes boys??

My son just turned 4 in October. He plays with my best friend son all the time which is 5. One day I walk into the room to check on them and they were under the bed with the door close. I immediately told them get up. My son pants was unbutton while his penis had an erection. My first mind was to spank him and ask question later. My friend says that her son stated that my son ask her son to suck his penis. I was baffled and ask my son he stated No and that her son put his mouth on him. Her son admitted to putting his mouth on my son. Remeber when i caught them my son pants was open not the other boy so therefore i believed my son not only because he is mine , only because the little boy hands was in my son pant. There was a previous incident that happen to my friend son and i think he is mimicking what happen to him. This is the second time I have caught him doing something to my son. Will my son be gay Does that make him gay if his penis had an erection????? Someone help me please because I feel like im going to loose my mind!!!!
6 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
480448 tn?1426948538
Oh my.  Well, for starters, no, this cannot "make" your son gay, and quite honestly, that's the last thing you should be concerned about.  

I'm assuming that this boy has been sexually abused?  Is that what you're referring to that happened to him?  Children that are sexually abused often repeat the same type of things that happened to them.  You have to understand that this 5 year old boy is an innocent victim, but that being said, he should NOT be left alone with your child...especially after stating that this wasn't the first questionable incident with the two boys.  They shouldn't have been left unattended.  If they have been left unattended other times, chances are good that other things have happened.  For that reason, I would recommend getting your son to a child psychologist, who can assess him, to determine what all has been done, and try to break the cycle, so your son doesn't in turn repeat the same behavior.

Lastly, spanking your son in that moment was not the right thing to do.  It's always important as a parent not to have knee jerk reactions, especially with something as serious as this.  The very last thing you would want to do is confuse your son even more, or make him feel bad at the age of 4, when in reality, he was more than likely being victimized.  Very very sad.

Good luck.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
100% does not make your son gay AT ALL ...

He was only having a natural reaction to feelings that he has very well likely experienced before.

Keeping mind at your sons age they are still learning all the senses and what can trigger a certain body part to do things he is not used to.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
As for your friends boy! I personally would not assume he was gay or even have been sexually abused.

In this day and age kids are growing up a lot faster then the kids from even my time and I'm only 28.

The type of things that are in movies, daytime TV, even just advertisement are a little to questionable for a child or their age.

Children are sponges majority of the time if they have seen someone do something then they dare to experiment doing them things themselves
Even if he has woken up and maybe caught his parents or a older sibling or family member or friend do it.
In a child's mind if it looks like it could be fun to them it more then likely something to try..

My advice invite your friend around sit the boys down ad just explain that, them that the type of behaviour is not something that little boys/ children do and it defiantly is not something that is do in your home.

More importantly it's always best to talk it through with your son and reassure him that that is a thing that the male packages work. That the feeling that it he experienced is natural but boy on boy mouth the private areas is not ok. Not only for others to do to him but also for him to do to anybody else......  

Even more serious it might have taken for you to have caught them in that act to have to pull up and pay attention to what these young boys have had happening around them or have been watching...

Take a bad situation And use it As a warning...

Hope my advice helps and it all turns out for the best good luck
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
I agree completely with nursegirl who gave right on advice.  As a mother, I can certainly relate to everything she said.  I'd be so worried about one of these kids being molested as child upon child molestation is much a sign of that.  A very common pattern.  

This is not natural or normal behavior of boys of that age (mother whose raised a couple of them speaking here . . .).  

Kids of that age aren't watching shows with that in it . . . 4 and 5?  No.  That is either something they inadvertently witnessed from their parents (needs discussion), they stumbled upon porn (discussion from mom and no internet access without total supervision) or it was show to them (immediate therapy needed).  

Please don't believe this is normal behavior. But also don't overreact and punish in that manner.  That doesn't help.  

good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
incase you misUnderstood my advice I was simply trying to explain to OCT10  that her sons erection reaction to the said situation was more then likely more of a natural body reaction and was unaware himself why he had 1.

Poor child is coming of age where he is just starting to learning how body does.
In the moment when there was no adult to react and let them know that what they were doing was it probably didn't seem wrong at the time.

As for the other said child its  defiantly time for parents careers friends is the family siblings everyone who cares about the child to observe His everyday livin and find out where he is picking up this  inappropriate behaviour there is clear evidence there are 2 victims here and all need to get behind these boys and protect them as well as seek help for them mentally and emotionally..

I wish you and them boys all the best OCT10
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
Oh, I thought you were saying that this activity was normal.  Got what you meant now.  
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Child Behavior Community

Top Children's Health Answerers
189897 tn?1441126518
San Pedro, CA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments