Fiance vs Son

[Sammibee14]

I have been with my now fiance for almost 4 years and we are set to get married in a few months. We have 2 children one together that is 15 months and I have a 7 year old from a previous relationship of which I as well as my fiance have a great coparenting relationship with my son's father. My fiance for the first 3 years was great with my son would play with him do things with him seemed proud of him. For the past 6 months he has been very "on top" of him everything is correcting him and constantly almost nagging him. I will admit he is a bit spoiled and I let him slide with alot because I believe he is still a little kid and I just pick my battles. Dinner is the worst he constantly yells at him for chewing with his mouth open which I also find disgusting but the yelling approach does nothing but make him cry and then I get upset. That's just ome example. My biggest question is am I the one that neees to cut the umbilical cord and hold my 7 year old more responsible or Do I need too cancel this wedding and not put my son in a "military" environment. I have talked to my fiance about it and he tells me I undermine him and let my son get away with everything. Please any advice is appreciated. Thanks!

[Happylady5]

You never let a men that is not the father of your son talk to him in any kind of way you are a mother first.I seen it too may time just because a women wants a men to be in her life she will let the men talk to the child any kinds of way just so she can say I am martied now to her friends and family

[RockRose]

Samibee,  you are your sons only protector.  If you can't protect him from your fiance yelling at him for table manners,  break up with him.  It's very sad that you have a child together - because that means you can't get away from him,  and free your child from his oppression.  

[SEscobar]

Hi,

I love my son and even at three years old, he has responsibilities. I have a six year old. A girl. From a previous relationship. And my fiancé has a much older child ,15, from a HS relationship. We have a mutual respect for the children, and for eacother and they, for us.

There are times when my finances oldest does try to challenge him, and it wouldn't be unheard of as he gets older that your son might try to do the same to you and your fiance. So we must train a child up in the way we want it to go.  We have always in the last 4 years, presented a united front with the kids. If he asked my daughter to not do something, usually for her own safety, In the beginning I would verbally chime in, in agreeance so she knew I too expected it to be done. And we weren't "having it".  United front. And if I did have a problem with something he did, it was discussed in private, not in front of the kids.

Discipline should be the same for all kids in the household. Now, and in the future. My fiancé never has to yell at the kids, he asks them to do things, and either it gets done, or video games get shut down, and tablets get put up high. The kids are mature with dad. They cry less, use their words and manners. Everything I've taught them to do in public, and often don't reap the benefits. Don't baby your son. But stand up for him if you need to, and get his father involved. And don't be afraid to ask him how he feels, and what's going on with him in the midst of all your plans. Raise your sons, mothers. He should have manners, being chivalrous, and getting used to responsibility even if it's just his section of the house. And take time to get out with just you, and him. Even at 3 I love to pick my sons brain, and have discussions with him.