Focusing

[paula2000]

My daughter is 8 years old and she is great in shcool. Honor roll every quarter. But she has a problem with staying focused. She does not have ADHD, she just is easily distracted. Spoke with her teacher and she says that she can be doing her school work and she can all of a sudden go into a total daydream or just begin to focus on something else going on in the room. But when the teacher calls her attention to it she gets right back to work and will have her work all correct. No behavior problems she does not distract others. The same thing happens in her Karate class and dance class. She knows what she is doing but she goes into her own world, but when called upon she do the dance step or the karate move. So she is listening and can come back just like that and be on target. What can I do to help her to stay focused and even share it with her teachers?

[Amy521]

Have any of you thought that perhaps this girl doesn't have much free time to do her own daydreaming by herself?  I can't judge for sure, but it seems like her life is very structured, which can be good to a point, but kids who are in a bunch of extracurricular activities and who are also very studious sometimes start to daydream in the middle of class, etc.  Maybe you could consider loosening your daughter's schedule a little and let her have some time to herself to develop and be creative.  Some kids are more free-spirited than others.  I was one of those kids that wasn't really into structured activities but I'd hardly say I'm ADD.  I just like having a lot of time to myself to create my own little universe.  Stop thinking that every tendency like this is immediately a disorder or great dysfunction.  Everyone is carting their children off to the shrink for every little "abnormality" no matter how benign, and it's a disturbing trend.  I acknowledge that a very few kids actually have ADD, but it seems like everyone's answer to everything is a disorder, and it's definitely overdiagnosed.

[paula2000]

Thanks for your uplifting comment. I think the teacher is probably wanting to get on with the next topic so that she can go home on time. I looked around the class room and my daughters work is the neatest work in the entire class. The teacher even mentioned how she appreciates being able to read my daughters work without having to play guess work on what it is. I am accepting the fact that my daughter just wants her work to be correct and neat. Even with the daydreaming she gets everything correct the teacher  said that my daughter will only ask once how to do something. Hey there is no behavior issues, she is not restless, just a little daydreaming here and there. It's a gift and that is the way it is going to be. Thanks Again LRM1021

[LRM1021]

It sounds like your son has developed some coping activities that have allowed him to be academically and socially successful, despite whatever issues he has. That's terrific, in my opinion.
As far as remembering things, a visual chart with reminders and rewards can do wonders-- putting up something so he can see it so he remembers to do it ( I have to do this myself --- prep for all the morning sutff the night before, etc.)
As for chewing holes in his clothes,-- well-- that sounds like he needs an alternative to release his energy. Maybe he could get a fidget ball-- something to squeeze-- or a night guard to bite-- so he does not chew up his clothes. That could get expensive in the long run:)

Still, overall, I am impressed by any child who has these issues and finds peaceful, somewhat constructive ways to deal with them-- that bodes well for a terrific future problem solver, I think.

[triedeverymed]

OH MY GOSH! You described my 9 year old son. We did take him to a psychiatrist who was going to put him on some medication but he can't swollow pills yet so that idea was out the door. Then my husband insisted he doesn't need drugs and refuses any further treatment.
I was a restless child, probably ADD and  I feel like I suffered at times. I don't want him to suffer but I don't want him on meds if it's not absolutely necessary. If anyone has ideas to help him focus, remember things we ask him to do, and to stop figiting and chewing on his clothes I would be grateful.
He literally chews holes in his clothes. He gets all A's, stresses about his Dad getting on him (I think he's too hard), and he get along well with other children. I don't know what to do, I just want to help him.

[LRM1021]

I would just add this-- she gets great grades, and is not a behavior problem-- so even if she has trouble attending -- well-- sounds harmless to me. I don't know why you would bring it up to the dr.

I'm with RockRose. If there is no behavior issues, and its not making her or you unhappy-- then its a GIFT to be able to take time in life to daydream and still get on with all the regular chores in life-- not a curse, but a gift.

Teachers get concerned when kids don't pay attention to them-- they don't want children to fall behind. This makes sense. Everyone gets concerned when children with ADD/ ADHD are not "successful" - meaning they don't succeed socially, or are failing school, or are unhappy/ depressed, or something like that. Since your daughter is not having any of these issues-- does it warrant any effort? I would think not.

[paula2000]

Thanks for the reply. I will speak with our family doctor asap.

[RockRose]

This also describes me, and my son.  I was raised in the 60's,  never ever a discipline problem,  but I'm quite sure a I am ADD.  My son sounds exactly like this and he was diagnosed ADD.  

I think your daughter is ADD.  Where would we be,  as a world,  without Thomas Edison who was CLEARLY ADHD?  

It's not a curse.  It's a creative gift.  

[momagain59]

Wow, this describes how I was in school exactly. I would try so hard to pay attention, and I could for awhile and then I would be daydreaming again. I made A's and was not a behavior problem at all. It is really hard to keep interested when you can't pay attention. I was a very well behaved kid until I was a teenager. It was just too hard to pay attention in school so when I was a teen, I just kind of gave up trying. I was finally diagnosed ADHD when I was an adult. I wish I could have got help sooner but ADHD wasn't well known when I was a kid. Most kids with ADHD are very smart, it is just hard to stay focused. No all kids with ADHD have behavior problems. I don't know what else it could be.