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1115868 tn?1290015624

Four Children

This had a couple questions:
I have four children: a 6 yr. old daughter, 4 yr. old son, almost 3 yr. old daughter and a 10 month old son.

#1: Recently, my 6 yr.old went to school on Monday after spending the weekend at her dad's and stated to the bus driver that my boyfriend smacked her and left a mark for lying. According to her this occured on Friday before she went to her dad's. I was home on Friday when she got in trouble for lying and she was just grounded and sit to her room, not to mention the more obvious thing: she never had a mark on her! This has caused CPS to come out and my boyfriend is very frustrasted and so am I. We have been together for 2 years and this is the first time she has ever said anything of the sort. We have been trying to get her to stop lying about various things but this is by far the worse. How can we control the lying?

#2: My 3 yr. old is wetting the bed at night. She goes to the bathroom during the day all the time and when I buy pull ups for bedtime, she doesn't have any accidents. We don't give her drinks after 7pm and have her use the bathroom before she lays down but there is still no progress and we can't afford to keep buying pull-ups. What can we do?

#3: My 4 yr. old son and 3 yr. old daughter are from my ex-husband. My ex hates my boyfriend with a passion and talks negatively about him and myself infront of the children or over the phone. My son has came home and called me a "B" after a visit with his dad. There are times that these two won't acknowledge my boyfriend when he is talking to him and the will disrespect him and myself. How do we handle this?

Sorry about the handful of questions.
3 Responses
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242606 tn?1243782648
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Relative to your daughter's lying, she can be disciplined by an automatic time out for any lying of which you become aware. However, you would be prudent to pursue the matter of why she is lying, particulalrly of the sort you describe. The behavior indicates that she feels vulnerable, and this needs to be understood.

There is really nothing to do at her age about enuresis during the night. At her age about 5-10% of children still are wet at night. It's important to be patient and supportive and not display frustration about this.  


Re: your last question, there is little you can do - you cannot control your ex-husband's behavior. The children are in a terrible bind. All you can do is take the high road and be the best parents you can be while the children are with you.
Helpful - 1
242606 tn?1243782648
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
There can be any number of reasons why a child might feel vulnerable. Talking with her about her allegation of abuse needn't be construed as a problem. The tone of your voice, your demeanor will set the stage. You might consider having her meet with a pediatric mental health professional and see what guidance you obtain.
Helpful - 0
1115868 tn?1290015624
Thanks so much for your response, I'm very appreciative.

How can we pursue the matter of why she is lying without making her feeling like she is in trouble? It's hard to get her answer to be more than an "I don't know". I'm lost on why she would feel vulnerable... what reasons do you see most often for vulnerability in a child? I don't know where to begin.
Helpful - 0

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