He shook my nephew

[motherwithconcern]

My ex-boyfriend and father of my child recently displayed some frightening behavior. During an argument he called me a name, and my seven year old newphew overheard it. Knowing this was a naughty word, my nephew said "don't call my aunty that!" and jokingly spanked him VERY lightly. My ex preceded to pick my nephew up by his shoulders while shaking him violently and screamed " You ever touch me again you little ******* and I'm going to throw you against the ****ing wall." My nephew was in tears and later confessed he had wet himself a little. long story short cops were called and I got a restraining order. But now I'm concerned for our one year old son. Because he misses his father. So do I forget the incident and have the restraining order dismissed and potentially risk my families safety and well being? Or do I just stick with my gut feeeling ?- if he did it once he may do it again and it could be my baby hes shaking...

[Marebear74]

YOU GO!!!!! LOL I like the way you are thinking here. motherwithconcern, you should take everyone advice here. We are all telling you to protect that baby, not to mention he shook someone who did'nt belong to him, what will he do to that baby boy who does belong to him??? Wait till he gets pissed and you and your son are the only ones there. Then what??? I am not being mean, so please do not think that. I am, well we are, just asking you to look at the big picture sweetie. They don't usually just do it once and suddenly become cured and a new man. Please be careful ok. May the big man up there protect you and your baby! -Marebear74!

[kev543]

Stick to your guns. I am 6'2 220pound man who can be full of p i ss and vinegar but i'm a big o teady bear when it comes to my kids. No real man does that and if i ever came across someone who did, GOD HELP THEM!!!!!! you protect your baby with everything you got and if he's dumb enough to try and man handle you. go get a iron skellet and lay it across his skull, then call the Law.

[vixydawn29]

Oh my goodness, what a horrible thing to have had to go through. I hope your nephew is okay!

You should completely go with your gut!!!!  Your baby is too important to have something like that, or worse happen to him!!! It's so sad to have to put those decisions in front of you, but you are his first line of defense. You did the right thing. Your son may persist to see his father, and rightfully so, but he doesn't know what happened nor the possiblity of the danger that man you impose. If it were me, I wouldn't let your ex near your son until he went through some anger management programs, and visits supervised w/you there!!!

Once again, I am so sorry you are going through this. I pray for peace and a healthy resolution for all!!!

[aid821]

You should absolutely NOT forget the incident ever happened. This is a sickening incident and one that should never happen again! To think he picked up your nephew, shook him and yelled at him to the point of him being so scared, he almost completely wet himself! I'm sorry but you nor your family should be exposed to this sort of dysfunctional behaviour. I hope you resolve this situation and make the right decision for you and your family.

[adgal]

In addition...read up a bit on shaken baby syndrome.  There are no second chances with a young child..shaking can often mean death or a host of permanent issues for them.  It is a very very serious thing to have happen. You cannot chance it happening even a single time.

[adgal]

What an awful experience and I am so sorry your nephew had to go through that.  However, I think you already know the answer to this.  If a grown man can behave so violently ( and yes, that is an extremely violent reaction) to a 7 year old I think that shows he has no control over himself and his emotions.  Can you risk having you or your son become his next "outlet"?  Go with your gut.  He can see his child, but it should be supervised by someone able to physically intervene should things go bad.  You also need to document this carefully as you will require the courts backing to require the visitation be supervised.    Your ex can take steps to earn back his rights as a dad.  Anger management, counseling, etc.  Do not feel badly..he has control over this situation..if he is serious about his family he will get help.  But you cannot risk the welfare of yourself or your child.  Normal men to not react that way to a 7 year old...ever.  No excuses.

[Marebear74]

Keep him away please. It's better that he misses his father then you missing him sweetie. Please be careful and trust your gut! If something happens to your child and they find out you went back after knowing the risk he was facing, you do realize you can go to jail and also be charged! Do some homework on this one girl! You are playing a dangerous game. One you should not play. You can defend yourself, your child depends on you to keep him safe. If you feel you can't stay away from the relationship, please get some help. Real help from a doctor or counselor that deals with abusive relationships. Wow, i am really worried about you and your family(don't mean your boyfriend). There are places that will help you! Be-care-ful!!!!! PLEASE!!!!