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Avatar universal

Help my child. He has gone overboard.

My child is at the age of 13. He have gone overboard too many times now.

He has been into countless fights at school. One reason being he is overweight and people make fun of him at school. He is also short-tempered. He has no respect for anyone. Even though I am his mother.

He becomes angry because his younger brother calls him fat. He then use physical force and hits his sibling without care as if it was a stranger. I can't hold him back. He knows I can't do anything and doesn't care. When he does hit his sibling, his anger seems to overwhelm him and he hits as many times as he can before his older brother, 18, holds him back. He even hits his older brother for no apparent reason -- just because he is stopping him from trying to break the younger brother. He has even assaulted me and my mother.

We misunderstand something that he is doing and he becomes angry. He then uses force against us. He tells my mother to die and whatnot when she visits us. She is very heart-broken by his comments. My son has hit me once on the arm which caused a big bruise. I want some advice to help him. I want to understand him better.

I don't want him to become a juvenile. That doesn't seem to help. I know children and relative who has gone in there and came out to be more volatile. They even build a resistance against the system. They don't care anymore. I don't want that for my child. Will I be able to take him to a therapist? He has seen counselors but it did nothing to help. He never got anywhere with them. It was futile.

Officers have talk to him about all of this, but he still does not listen. He is a very nice child. He is very sweet when nothing bothers him. But when it does, he bullies his younger siblings and tease them. I can only guess that at school he is also suffering a lot. He is also being bully too, but he does not tell anyone. It seems like he is taking out his anger on the family instead of finding a safe way to vent it out. Is there anyway I can support him while trying not to make him feel abandoned? I know very well that putting him behind bars at such a young age would only cause him to feel abandoned and effect his life as an adult.

Please, I need advices. Thank you.
4 Responses
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535822 tn?1443976780
Sounds like this child has a lot of issues and needs help, he has been bullied at school and at home I guess if you are called fat , you react perhaps as his Mom you could check on the behavior of the other siblings to him , he sounds as if he is teased and he is acting out, if you take a look at what is happening prior to the behavior you may see,
Helpful - 0
603946 tn?1333941839
how about something similar to boot camp? Isn't there on in New Mexico?
How did he get this out of control?
Did it start recently?
Any other life changes?
Why does dad allow him to hit? -
No one usually wants their son to go to juvenile hall, maa'm but it could be a nice wake up call for him. Prison is no picnic either. My brother was out of control like this- started at age 7, he went to Boy's Ranch (I was so young my parents told me private school), then a  juvenile detention in Texas for the BIG stuff.

anyways- you want to understand him better-----
of course, but he is too old to treat family members this way and leave bruises on you all- so he needs outside help and consequences that STING enough to make him not want to hurt others-- try to understand him...
I know I know -what comes first the chicken or the egg- but I feel sorry for the other family members
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm no expert but I'm guessing the psychological impact from the bullying is causing him to need to find an output for his anger, in deconstructive ways, such as bullying younger siblings. I would suggest talking with him about the issues and talk about this bullying he receives at school and ask if he would be interested in better diet and exercise to feel better about himself and maybe taking a karate class or something to get his confidence up and to be able to defend himself. It will also be a useful outlet for his anger. Therapy could also be an extra measure to maybe talk about things that are difficult for him to express. 13 is a tough age for kids, and they can be so cruel to one another. There may or may not be underlying anger issues outside of the bullying he receives and it may be helpful to get him evaluated.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
*I don't want to send him to juvenile hall.
Helpful - 0
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