my daughter wants to be a boy

[jojo815]

well ever since she was a little girl she always loved playing with dirt and boys toys but never wanted to play tea or dolls but when she played pretend she always pretend she was the dad or the brother never the "mommy" and now that she is getting older she still is wanted to be a boy and i dont know what to do about this and my husband and i are worried help us


This discussion is related to Daughter wants to be a boy.

[GButler7890]

Hello, my 4 year old daughter is doing this too and has been saying she is a boy since she was 2.5 yo. I am wondering if anything came of this or if your child is now happy being a girl?

[specialmom]

I will tell you this . . . when I was a child, I wanted to be a boy for a period of time.  I wore a belt that said MIKE (cousin's name, his old belt) and I wore boy clothes, played steriotypical 'boy' things.  Fast forward . . . then I discovered make up and a curling iron.  ha.  I was back to enjoying 'girly' things. I'm a mother and wife now.  My son went through a period in which he said he wanted to be a ballerina and carried a dancing barbie with him everywhere.  My husband would take his son to the hardware store with his barbie.  He then got into all the boy things and now is older and ya, that is long forgotten (even though we have pictures and video of him dressed as a ballerina twirling.)  

My theory is to not take it overly seriously.  Down the road, if it doesn't go away, worst case scenario is that she identifies with the opposite sex and wants to live that way.  That's not that bad.  People should be who they really are.  But you are a LONG ways off from there.  I just would not pay a lot of attention to it and let it play out.  

[SLloyd]

My daughter is almost 8. Ever since she was 3 she has told me she likes girls not boys. And that she wants to be a boy. Here about a month ago she came to me and said she is no longer a girl she is a boy. She had me help find a boy name her name was Raeanna and now she wants to be a he and his name is Leland. Lee for short. She even wants me to talk to the school and see if she can go by Lee at school. Just wanted you to know your not alone.

[SLloyd]

My daughter is almost 8. Ever since she was 3 she has told me she likes girls not boys. And that she wants to be a boy. Here about a month ago she came to me and said she is no longer a girl she is a boy. She had me help find a boy name her name was Raeanna and now she wants to be a he and his name is Leland. Lee for short. She even wants me to talk to the school and see if she can go by Lee at school. Just wanted you to know your not alone.

[Verama]

Mamapacs I know just how you feel (I think).  Every since my daughter could speak she has been saying "I want to be a boy"  She always wants to play the male role and will refer to herself as a prince.  She does not like typical girl toys and always wants boy toys and to dress like a boy.  She is now 4 1/2 and I have decided I just have to go with it.  I can not change her to be who I want her to be.  I just try to explain to her that there are good things about being a boy or a girl.  I guess I am just puzzled because I have not heard of many other kids doing this so its good to hear that someone else can relate.

[mamapacs]

Whew! Thank you for sharing your thoughts about girls wanting to be boys. My daughter is 3 years old wants to be a boy and says she is a prince rather than a princess.  She said she wants to marry her girl classmate.  I think I just have to give her more time and just truly enjoy her company.  I get worried because if indeed she will be a tomboy, I know the world be more difficult for her.  You know...struggle to be accepted...to be loved...I just want her to be happy.  Im hoping this is just a phase.  

[LeftCoastChick]

I just saw this post - I'm a CL for another community and looking to assist a parent, but I have to interject that even if your child wants to be a boy - there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.  You need to be as supportive as you can be, if your daughter really does want to transition to being a male. Having a healthy and supportive family will save your child from some pretty harsh emotional difficulties. Some kids are born with brains that don't match what they are on the outside. I've got some friends who have transitioned from female to male, and far more adjusted then they were before. The just wish their families were supportive when they said they wanted to be boys - one became suicidal at one point, the other suffered for years with crippling depression.  I know it's a really hard and strange thing to deal with, but be supportive even if it's just a phase. I was a major tomboy growing up and I wasn't pushed to wear dresses or frilly outfits, I just didn't feel comfortable. It's night and day now the way I look, I'm the total opposite, I'm a girly girl to the core, but that doesn't always happen. Love has no set boundaries.

[Melissa0116]

I was just like that, it is called a being a tomboy.  I am fine I just wasn't as girly as everyone else but I grew out of that.  I love being a woman and I still do like to play in the dirt.  When I was a child I only had boys around to play with so I liked playing with GIJOE and star wars.  I thought wearing a dress was so disgusting and I hated doing my hair.  But when i became a teenager, I spent hours getting ready.  She is still young.  When she is 12 or older then maybe I would be concerned and only if she told you she wanted a sex change.  Deal with it later if needed.  Just let her do what makes her happy.  Not all girls like to play with dolls and barbies, some, like me, enjoy playing in the dirt, riding atv's, and shooting paintball guns.  It is just fun.................................

Don't be too concerned about it.  

[VH-Mr.Mom]

Jeez, whatever happened to..."My child is just going through a phase."  Why does everything have to be so clinical? I can understand asking other parents about it, but seeing a psychiatrist and all that nonsense doesn't seem necessary, especially if your daughter is young.  Of course some bureaucratic doctor is going to say "seek help", but as a lay parent I say give it time!