How do I react when catching my 5 year old daughter experimenting??

[what2_do]

I am really concerned!!!! I don't know how to react or feel!!!!  A few months ago I was staying at a friends house.. She has a son the same age as my daughter. It never crossed my mind that they would actually do anything nasty.. But they were in the room watching a movie and I kept the door open and kept checking on them every ten minutes or so.. Well the last time I went in there my daughter had her shorts down (her underwear up) and he had his pants down going behind her to do what ever they thought they were ganna do.. well I flipped out and sent my daughter to the other room and the boys mom delt with him... I didn't know how to react to this.. So I tried to calm down and talk to my daughter calmly...  I wasn't sure how to even start the convo...

Well tonight I was keeping my 6 and 2 year old nephews.... I sent all the kids up to my daughters room to pick out a movie.. Mind you my daughter is 5.. Well they go a movie picked out and my sister n law called... I ran downstairs to talk with her and get a bed ready for my 2 year old nephew.. They were all up in the room... I had a funny feeling so I ran upstairs to  check on them real quick,, I found My 6 year old nephew on top of my daughter humping on her with his hand down her pants... I flipped out!!! Told my nephew to get out and sent my daughter downstairs!!!! I don't know how to react to this!!!! I don't know how to feel about this!!!! Is this normal!!!! I'm exstremelly worried about this whole thing! Its just my daughter and I!  Her dad isn't in her life.. The two boys that have ever been alone just for a bit have tried something with her... I don't know how to talk with my daughter about this!!! I don't want her to think its ok to let anybody touch her like that!!! I can't believe that I have to worry about her cousin and her in the same room!!! Is this normal? or is there something more I need to be worried about here?  I know kids experiment and are curious... Is this all that this is?

[what2_do]

Thank you soo much for your input!! You are very right about the first reaction to stay calm! Which I obviously didn't! Wow, its amazing with what your not prepared for... But I do appreciate the suggestions and hope I can keep an open mind and a calm additude. And the last thing I want for my daughter to be afraid to talk to me... Thank you!!

[margypops]

i am also thinking you may check if these children or one of them has seen this behavior is there any way it could be learned, any inappropiate magazines in the houses TV.. PC they are very young, to be knowing this much without seeing.it I agree with the above post about not making an issue, however I think more supervision would be better and no seperate rooms for play. Good luck

[mjaetv]

This is very common. Do not panic!!! When you see this it is very hard not to panic and react, but that is the worse thing to do. They are very young and at some point one or both of them had to of seen something to react and be curious. You did right by calmly talking to your daughter, but your first initial reaction was not good. You should of calmly told both of them to pull their pants up and called the other mother over to discuss the situation together first. Asking them what they were doing and why? Then explaining that it wasn't a good choice to do this. You need to first understand where it came from and the only way is by asking. You don't want your child to be afraid to talk to you, so reacting in a panic will sometimes prevent your childs openess for future situations. This is where to start. After understanding why they made this choice is the second step in handling it. Having an openess even with a 5 year old can help you understand and help you help the situation. You may find out things that you may not want to here or just that it was something seen on tv or even walking in on you and your ex at some point. Either way you will find the root of the problem and you need to prepare yourself for whatever you may hear. STAY CALM.