I need help, my six year old is out of control.

[rkkrd3]

I have a six year old son who has been diagnosed with Selective Mutism.  He has a rather severe case.  He hasn't said a word in his year and a half of school.  He does talk at home and at families house, though.  In the past few years, he has really started throwing fits when he doesn't get his way.  I am at my wits end.  I don't know what we should do anymore.  We have been told to put him in his room and tell him he can come out when he is done throwing his fit but it doesn't work.  When we put him in there, he won't stay.  I have tried staying at the door holding it closed until he calms down but then he starts throwing himself down and hitting his head on the floor.  I am so afraid he is going to hurt himself.  When he doesn't get his way he follows me around screaming and crying and I can't take it anymore.  We need help.  I have tried taking things away, grounding him, and even spanking him.  None has worked, he just starts to throw a bigger fit.  I am really concerned because this is happening more and more frequently and he has a four year old brother who is starting to act this way too.  Please help.  I don't know what I should do.  Most of the time he will throw a fit for hours and then all of the sudden it is like a switch is thrown and nothing is wrong with him anymore.  I swear sometimes, I don't think he even remembers any of it.  I try to talk to him about all of this and he closes up and won't acknowledge me.  I don't know if this has something to do with his selective mutism or if there is something else wrong.  There is a lot of mental health issues in the family, such as: bipolar disorder, paraniod schizophrenia, hollucinations.

[jdtm]

You have just written about one of the best kept secrets of children suffering from anxiety - unbelievable temper tantrums and out-of-control behaviours.  Selective mutism is usually at the severe end of the social anxiety disorder spectrum.  I assume that you are seeing a professional in order for your son to be diagnosed but are you dealing with a medical mental health professional as as child psychiatrist or child neurologist?  Frankly, I suspect your son requires medication in order to help him deal with his anxiety, frustrations and fears as well as an intervention/therapy plan.  

It is also possible that your son also suffers from another mental health issue as many anxiety disorders are often co-morbid with other issues (a couple of which you named).  Early treatment can offset the damage that some of these mental health disorders can cause due to the re-training of the young brain (similar to early intervention in autistic children).  It may take some time to find the correct mental health professional to help you but there is help out there.  I wish you the best ...

[specialmom]

This must be very scary as a parent to deal with.  The occupational therapists that we visit for my son's sensory issues have children with selective mutism that they work with.  Occupational therapy is teaching "life skills" type of stuff (besides therapy for sensory)----  they help strategize about difficult situations with a child.  Anger is something they help with a lot.  Stress thermometers for example are very helpful.  Perhaps an evaluation from an occupational therapist and some of their professional help would be of benefit as well.  I always think it helps to learn the triggers as well.  Good luck!!!  

[marimisuil]

I just finished reading your post and i was like WOW!! I felt as though you were describing my 51/2 year old son. He has almost everything you said your son has. Except I have never took him anywhere to get diagnosed except his pediatrician which told me also to put him in time out, or in a safe place where he could not hurt himself, which like you said would also scream and bang his head which really scared me. I have also tried spanking, taking away his toys, talking to him and his behavior is getting worse. When I try to talk to him he just smiles and say ok. But it is amazing how they can be so angry one minute that you can see there vain's raging and the next second they are really calm. I have made an appt. with  psychiatrist that specializes in children behavior and also there are dr;s there that can hopefully diagnosis him with something because now he is taking about hurting himself and it is getting out of control. Please let me know how your situation is going I desperately need the help, advice, and any support that I can get at this point.