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My 6 year old son keeps getting sent home from school for hurting other children. What do I do?

My 6 year old son started Kindergarten this year and has had several struggles.  He began the year being very aggressive with other children, constantly trying to wrestle and fight with them.  He was also having a hard time controlling his temper and had several outbursts and would cry easilty.  His teacher brought this to our attention and we spoke with the school counselor.  We also sought out the help of another counselor after he was suspended from school because he pushed a boy down and sat on top of him and wouldn't let him up.  We met with a counselor for about 6 weeks and took several privileges away from him such as video games and television.  He was also no longer allowed to watch any type of violent movie.  He began improving at school and we assumed everything was ok.  He was fine for about 4 months and no this last week he has gone from bad to worse.  He was sent home three out of 5 days and now the principal tells us she might have to recommend him for alternative school.  He is excelling academically and is very bright, but he cannot control his emotions and acts very impulsively and has hurt other children.  We have taken every privilege away from him and he doesn't even seem to care.  When we ask him if he feels bad about what he did, he says no.  He shows little to no remorse for hurting other children and tells us he hit them because they didn't want to play with him.  None of the children in his class want to play with him because they are afraid of him and this causes him to get upset and act impulsively. We do not think he has ADHD, but rather issues with anger management and empathy.  Any suggestions would be appreciated.
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Avatar universal
Here are some thoughts that might help.  Investing in your child now will pay off in dividends later.
- make sure his routine at home is very structured with plenty of time for rest.
- go to the library and get picture books about getting along, read those before bed and talk about friendships.
- seek out a summer camp or program that focuses on social skills and cooperation.
- seek the help of a good child psychologist - usually schools can make good references.
- make sure his diet is full of mostly healthy, natural foods.
- try to get him involved in a tiring, regular exercise program such as a swim team.
- role play at home about social interaction.
- have regular play dates with other children one at a time supervised by you or your spouse.  Make sure that the playdates are short and structured such as a hike and snack, or an opportunity for a trip to a playground and picnic lunch.  Help make it fun by playing with the children and modeling play.
- possibly hire an older child with good social/athletic skills to come over to play with your child for an hour at a time (use the local high school for a resource).
- think about your family history and any members that showed similar behaviors.  Think about what worked for those people and what didnt.
Best of luck.  He's young and you want to help so I know he'll make progress.
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
  Yes, some of these behaviors are ADHD like.  Yet, you said he was fine for 4 months.  ADHD kids can't turn it off and on.  Something at school got him going.  
   If you have intelligence, then you quickly learn cause and effect - or how your actions will help you get the desired outcome.  Usually, you also figure out that if you are being punished, you try alternate ways to gain your goals.  So this is kind of weird.  I also wonder if he showed these problems before he started Kindergarten.  Did he go to preschool?  Its one thing if this has just suddenly popped up. A whole different matter if it has been going on for a while.
  I don't think its ADHD, but there are several other things that should be looked at.  I think I would find a good child psychologist and get their input.
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Avatar universal
If he is an only child and has not had a social exposure with other kids before he may not know how to interact with them. Also he may feel like the leader of his group and gets annoyed if someone tries to upstage him. My son had very similar issues. A lot of talking and love and meeting with the other kids have eliminated most of it. If he has older siblings who ignore him, fight with him verbally or otherwise, who are possessive about their space he may feel left out and can only have that at school by acting out on those he feels he has control over.
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