My 8 yr old has behavioural problems both home and in school

[shy_girl26]

Hi

I am the mom of 4 boys 12/8/5/1 I am having problems with my 8 yr old he does not listen and I do not mean sometimes all the time. His teachers are not able to handle him he gets notes home from school about being disruptive in class(4 in the last 4 days) it is like he does his work in class then gets out of his seat and starts to talk to the other children. At home you have to tell him atleast 10 times to do something ,  you can take away one of his privledges for him not listening and the next day he is not listening again kind of like he forgot about losing something he enjoys from the day before .. He has almost been kicked off his baseball team b/c no one seems to be able to get him to listen. I have tried hallering , grounding, removing objects he enjoys ( computer,psp, xbox) I have tried everything the teachers have tried every thing I am lost and do not know what else to do. I was  reading an article about a child being an over achiever I guess you could call it and it sounds like my son, the parent stated they are getting the child checked for ADD but I do not feel he has this problem can someone give me some advice I am scared he is going to get expelled from school.

Also I am so frustrated and feel my frustration is adding to the problem

[specialmom]

If he is having trouble sitting in class, perhaps providing some time for movement would help him.  Some kids need this "action" break to focas and be able to listen.  They also make inflatable pads that sit right on the chair.  A child can wiggle but are still seated.  It is much less disruptive to the class but still enables a child to move.  

A montesory program of teaching allows for every child having different learning styles.  We are lucky in our school district that they also have this policy.  They can do little things during the day to help a child even at 8 cope better with the school day.  

I would also try to have him do some things right before school----  jump up and down, skip across the kitchen floor, do crab walks.  I know that sounds crazy----  but it helps the nervous system calm down.  It might help to have him chew a piece of gum before school too.

My son has a developmental delay called sensory integration disorder-----  not saying at all that your son does---- but these things help ALL kid's and their nervous systems.  I don't think most kids like to always get in trouble.  You sound like you try really hard to control the behavior even with all of the responsibilities of 3 other kids (you are my hero!)-----  so maybe adding some nervous system activities may help him when just being in trouble hasn't.  If you'd like any other ideas of activities known to calm and help a child focas, let me know.  Good luck-----  you certainly have your hands full!

[suziet]

It sounds like he doesn't want to conform to anyone rules.  Your life must be hectic and you don't have time to devote your time to your 8 year old, which is understandable.  Do you have a peditrician?  I think I would make an appointment for him as soon as possible.  After 3 years of school, something has to be going on beside bad behavior.  Making an appointment might keep him from getting tagged by the school as an unruly kid.  If the doctor agrees he has a problem they can help you find services that will help all of you.  Good luck with finding good services for him.

[shy_girl26]

Him and his older brother fight but nothing major normal sibling stuff. I think it is more the frustration with the teachers you have to tell him to do something 15 times before he does it . His last year teacher who has been in the school system for a while actually started crying last year at parent teacher b/c she could not handle him they just keep saying he is very disruptive gets out of his seat and talks through the entire class, this has been goining on for 3 years he has gotten behavioural notices home more times then I can count . I keep blaming myself thinking there is something I am doing wrong... His father and I divorced 5 years ago ... and I live with someone that I have 2 children with and my ex husband lives with somone and her daughter so my 8 yr old is the baby at his dads and not here

[margypops]

How doe he get on with his older brother age 12 is the older child kind to him , no teasing or behavior the 8 year old can be copying, in fact is it only the one 8 year old in your family with behavioral issues?I would think that his teachers would be able to handle him getting out of his seat , perhaps they are off loading onto you,when it could be handled with firmness at school.If you feel he has a disorder it would be a good idea to speak to the Doctor, he sounds as if he is upset about something.Focus on his good side and praise him when you see him doing something right..