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My aggressive almost 4 year old son
My almost 4 year old son is very rough when he plays and gets very aggressive. I've tried kids soccer and martial arts. Especially in soccer, he gets placed in time out often because "he is very handsy". Besides being concerned to the point of crying, I am very embarrassed since he is the only one that acts this way. My son was speech delayed but now speaks and is cognitively at a level above his age, some of the things he says surprise me because he is so intelligent. He is also very sweet. Not a day goes by that he doesn't say "Mommy, I love you to the moon and back and twice around the sun" or ""Mommy, I love you and will take care of you". My mother recently passed away and I cry often. My son will say "Mommy, why are you crying, Nonna is with her family and at peace". He will get a tissue and wipe my tears and if he doesn't find a tissue, he will wipe my tears with his hand. He is always hugging other kids and at times can be a bit rough when he does, i.e. losing their balance. Since he was speech delayed, I've had him in Early Intervention from 18 months old. When he aged out, I was advised to keep him in the system by continuing with CPSE meaning he was placed in a school with special ed teachers. He is in a 12:1:2 program and more than half of the children are autistic and non-verbal. My son is talkative, informative and extremely sociable. I have been told he has sensory issues and cannot regulate himself when he gets excited. I've witnessed him punching one of his little female friends although not in anger, it is more like several taps with his fist. I am beside myself with worry. Please help me!
Best Answer
Hi. My son and your son have things in common. Have you had a full assessment by either a developmental pediatrician or neuropsychologist for autism? I'd consider this. Autism is a spectrum. It's nothing to be ashamed of or fret over but better to know. My son has sensory integration disorder. We began working with an occupational therapist when he was 4 and he did this for almost 7 years. It was helpful and something to consider since you mention sensory issues. The important thing is to not be embarrassed or upset. Your son is trying. SO many kids have 'something' they grapple with. You aren't seeing it but those other kids do to. My suggestion is tons of physical activity outside of all his other activities. It accumulates in the nervous system calming it. Take him to parks, have him run around, swing, climb, jump, roll. Talk to him about personal space. You can make it fun like robot arms. You put your arms out straight and to the sides straight too like a robot and walk around. He does it too. then you say you can't get any closer to other kids than the robot arms. I used this and would gently say robot arms to remind my son when we were out. Also, you could do a space bubble. Pretend he has a bubble around him and other kids also have a bubble. You don't get closer than your space bubbles. This helps. In sports, obviously they will get closer. Then you have him put hands to side and leave them there in soccer. It's a foot game. OR make him the goalie. Goalies are highly sought after and he can get good at it and be an asset to a future team. Just an idea
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