My 6 yr old great nephew

[GreatAunty]

I'm 64 years old and moved in with ,and his 50 yr wife and their 6 year old son.
I was shocked beyond belief on how their family life lived.they drink, I don't, and  yelling,screaming,the name calling would begin ..the 6 yr. old has headphones on playing games from u-tube, but he heard ,
Mom on computer all day and dad would start drinking and dinner is a nightmare ..Lorrie  rarely cooked dinner,and if Jeff,would scream it's horrible,  Dan  would eat when he was hungry ,only fish crackers and juice, frozen cheese pizza , mayo sandwiches and bologna ...
But when bed time came ,stayed up long as he wanted to playing with his computer with headphones on..and the first day I asked let's get your homework done! Omg , wham he would jump off the stool, run screaming to his room,slammed the door screaming I hate homework ,and almost everything else ..Lorrie would slam his door open and I would hear him screaming don't spank me ,don't yell at me etc..
It took me 4 hours to do 2 pages of homework...I was shocked when I went threw his backpack and pages after pages of homework had incomplete written across the front page..in fact most of his homework was never done..
I asked Lorrie what is going on? She would just give this blank look like huh?
Dan is in kindergarten due to a kidney problem they held him back..    
Poor little guy ,know one ever read to him what on what to do.He can't read so he never could do his homework.
Omg I have so much to say about  the mother/son  bond..their was none...
Lorrie admitted to me she wishes she never had him, he destroyed her life...on and on she ranted as she drank her beer and smoked her weed...
And breakfast? He never got any because she had to drive him across town to a different school because she was working at the time and it would be easier for her mother to pick him up and take him to school then daycare..but she was fired from her job of 11 years right before school started but kept him in the school ...they would scream and fight every single morning but still got there late..she resented Dan for that for she would have to take in ..also the teacher has tremendous problems with Dan...he never quit talking and would act up etc.also Dan shakes his head from shoulder  to shoulder  ....
Better cut to the chase..since I came here and basically took over the raising of their son , he now does his homework , eats a lot better now and plays with the neighborhood kids...I loved him..never once did I raise my voice but the main thing was I listened to him and lol boy can he talk! We discuss just about everything that catches his interest , for he wants to be a dinosaur teacher..lol can't spell the proper name! Dan can name about any dinosaur that was plus he has an I Q of 127 ...
My problem is, Dan tells me all the time how much he loves me , he runs to my room when he gets home to share about his day etc....but one day he started telling me about his daycare lady named Jamie, how she bent his fingers all the way back ,how she would drag him into the bathroom screaming I'm going to flush ur head down the toilet or she was going to sell him to the gypsy 's...And just mean things she would do to him..I asked what could you have done that was so horrible ? Do you hit the other kids, stab the dog, steal her car?he giggled about the last two..point is I told him there is nothing you could have done that would make a adult to and say bad things to you..plus no one has the right to put their hands on you nor scare.i asked Dan did you ever tell your mom? Yup I did but said Jamie was only trying to get me to behave..I just about lost it...now Dan talks like a collage student and understands what is being said thanks to U-Tube , which I had Lorrie take if off his desk top, for he was learning and watching , playing games that were way to old for him...sorry got away from what I was writing about...so Dan asked me what I was going to do about Jamie...hmmm my first reaction was I'm gonna break  her fingers then flush her down the toilet and sell her fat behind to the gypsies ..Dan started laughing and laughing but I had to be serious with him...told him his mother and I where going to go to Jamie's and then I would call CPS and the police..his big mouth mother has told me so many negative stories about Dans half sister that he learned what CPS is...Mom comes home and I try to talk to Lorrie about what Dan has told me about Jamie actions ...she , the mother, said oh god is he bringing that **** up again? I'm so,sick and tired of hearing Dan saying what Jamie did to him...I asked Jamie and she admitted all of it but Dan drove her to it..by his constant temper , yelling , talking back and rocking his head all the time..
He was only 4 yrs old when he started telling his mom...then his kidney burst right in front of Jamie , she called his mother then the ambulance...he was air lifted to Stanford  Med  Center one of the finest in the nation, had 2 surgeries ,thank god he is alright now though only one kidney works.anyway his mother never took off work when he got back home ..he was sent back to daycare ..and Jamie sat him on the couch and kept telling him isn't fun to watch the other kids have fun? They get to run and play but you can't because you have a stint in your kidney ..Dan told me it just made him mad and sad cuz of his kidney getting sick ..poor little guy...he didn't understand ..
My question is what do can I do?  Dan asked me if I believed him and I said YES ..he gave me a huge hug and said I love you Aunty more than then anything in the whole universe..
I can't stand how his mother tarts him though she is getting a lot better since I have been here...she knows I won't stand for her to spank or yell at him.. As for my nephew he is finally bonded with his son..yes he still drinks but they spend quality time together ...oh I forgot to type down that my nephew and his wife have a loveless marriage..in fact she hates my nephew and that is a whole other story of why but it deals with his other child ..a 20 year daughter who Lorrie hates....
My question , again, is what can I do? I have changed a lot in this house..making it more of a home..
But Lorrie try's to put down her son when ever she can just not in front of me nor his father.
Dan goes to bed around nine but only if I m there..I taught him his prayers and we make up magical stories ..yes I'm called a Wiccan but I'm more of a free spirt and try's to live in peace and harmony .teaching Dan about being positive not negative etc..
I love this little guy with all my heart ..I have 2 granddaughters one is 23,,and 12 ..my 12year old is begging me to move back for my daughter works  all the time   , her boyfriend is only 24 she is 40 but they have been together  for
  Over 2 years...anyway if I move to be closer to my granddaughter it will crush Dan ..I'm so terrified to leave him..I'm his rock,,,he knows I love him unconditionally....And would never hurt him but I'm 100 %disabled and just had 2 surgery s not even a year ago...it was my 37 th ...
What will happen to Dan Dan my little Man..oh one other thing , they have a Queensland  healer    And he is 3 but has growled and just  snapped at Dan but his mother takes that damn dogs side and begged me not to tell Jeff what the dog did..she is crazy for she told me when the dog was a puppy Dan tired to put him in a little cage and the dog remembers ..OMG ..I've got to sit down with his father but that will never happen..
Help please

[specialmom]

Ah, missed that part of the post.  It was a long one to read.  I thought you meant for the overall scenario.  

No, a daycare worker shouldn't hurt a child.  Obviously.  I'm not sure if it can be proven where police would do anything but I'd register a complaint with the city as most cities license daycare centers.  They'd look into them and most likely that kind of situation would result in the person losing their job.  I'd personally take my child out of the daycare.

But, this isn't her child so the parents need to act.  That's the whole thing.  This isn't her child.  Or her grandchild.  And while it isn't a great home, it doesn't sound like abuse necessarily.  There really isn't anything she can do and for her own sanity, she should probably go back to her own family to live.  Just my opinion though.  

[jleeflcntrygrl]

I said call the police on jamie the daycare worker because the child said she pulled his fingers all the way back and hurt him. That's assaulting a minor. She works at a daycare she shouldn't be putting her hands on kids n hurting them!!!you don't wana know what I would do!!

[specialmom]

Hi, there is nothing to call the police about here.  Being crummy parents isn't criminal.  If you suspect true neglect (beyond not having them do their homework or not hugging on the kids or showing them the kind of love you would) then you should call cps.  

Lots of people have an occasional drink and it is not a problem in their lives.  If you don't drink and these folks do and you have an issue with it, then this home would not be a good place for you to live.

Lots of parents get mad, yell and occasionally spank (I am not a spanker myself) and that is part of parenting.  And lots of kids grow up with parents that are less than kind.  Is he verbally abused?  That is really too bad if that is the case.  I hate for a kid to live in that situation with a parent being cruel, however, that is usually preferable to a child than to enter the foster system (which wouldn't happen over verbal abuse, just so you know).  I agree it is sad though.

As to homework, not sure what you are talking about.  He's 6.  Probably not doing prealgebra yet.  LOL.  What kindergartener gets massive homework?  That is really unusual no matter the school district.  Sure it isn't papers from school that he isnt' doing IN school?  Perhaps he has a learning disability?  I will tell you that by third grade, I had an expectation that my kids manage their homework.  They know what they are to do and are to keep track of it and do it during the evening.  I will help if they ask me too but as most homework is really review in elementary school from the day's work, it is usually pretty easy to them.  But I believe in self motivation starting in these early years.  Both my kids, 9 and 10 are pretty motivated to get their stuff done.  So, at 6---  you can say do you have homework?  And maybe sit with them to do it.  But this is strange that he has a lot and it is that big of a deal.  And trust me, he's not the first kid to say he hates it and not do it.  My son's have classmates who rarely do homework.  sure, by 3rd grade you get bad grades for it which I wouldn't tolerate or you miss recess because you didn't do your homework but that really is mostly on the neglectful student by that point.  

Dinner.  Well, not everyone is a cook and it is hard to judge others.  Do I let my family eat that way?  not really.  But I have one son with sensory issues and you'd probably say his diet is too limited.  Sounds like they have food and he's not going hungry.  That's a good thing.

So, really.  This just doesn't sound like a great home but not an awful one.  There are some pretty bad homes out there.  

I think you need to move on.  You can still visit the boy but your own family needs you and this family could probably be better off being less judged.  Hopefully some of what you've brought to the home will last and they will get their act together.  good luck

[jleeflcntrygrl]

I am sorry for my anger but I don't know how a person could let a lil boy be mentally and physically abused by his mom and daycare worker and just stand by and let it continue. U need to call the police on them.

[jleeflcntrygrl]

Please don't leave this child alone with that horrible woman. CALL CPS on JAMIE!!! I don't care what this kid did he is a LITTLE BOY, also I think u need to protect him! These people don't deserve to have kids they sound like HILLBILLIES!!

[RockRose]

I'm sorry.  Could you distill this into two paragraphs with grammar?

I can't possibly read through this.