help

[badmom]

i have a 11year old son who has been having behavioral problems the last few months which are getting progrssively worse, both in school and at home. hes defivent aggressive and shows no sympathy for others. today his sister just found out that her friend is dying she decided to take the remote for the t,v away from her brother, her brother started kicking her then trashed the house while i was trying to confort my daughter. i can't help my daughter with her pain because of my sons pschotic display.i don't know what to do a counslor diagonised him with being clinically depreesed and wanted to put him on meds doctor refused until we see a child pyschologist i don't know how to handle things until then we are waiting for insurance to approve. i have 4 kids hes youngest and also only son never had to deal with anything out of ordinary with any of them


This discussion is related to 11-year old with undiagnosed behavior problems.

[SL345]

And, get rid of the bad mom label

[SL345]

If you agree that he may be depressed, talk to him about his depression. Ask him if he thinks he's depressed - meaning said or easily annoyed. Explain that you are trying to get him help but it's going to take a little while. In the mean time, tell him that depression can make it hard to follow the rules and make him feel angry faster. It may make it hard for him to stop himself when he feels angry. Tell him that he needs to try extra-hard right now and you will do everything you can to help him. Tell him he and others need to stay safe. Consider modifying expectations downward temporarily (just as you might if he was feeling ill) and explain why you are doing so. You don't want everyone to have to tiptoe around him, but his sister may need to cut him a little more slack right now. This does not mean that he has the right to be physical or violent. Is anyone else in the family depressed? If so, and especially if they've been helped, consider talking to him about what they've been through or maybe they can talk to him if you and they feel comfortable to explain what they did to get help. And, press hard on your insurance company to get approval immediately. Tell them your son is losing control and may be a danger to harm others, if necessary. Tell them that if something happens to him or someone else because they delayed acting you will hold them accountable. Take the name of the person on the phone and speak to their supervisor. If necessary call you local legislator and have them call the insurance company. There is help for this. Good luck.

[laurel94]

maybe he needs more attention like one on one. where is his father. it really sounds like he just doing the only thing he knows how and that's to act out for your attention. I would take him aside and ask him whats going on and what he would like for you to do, give him some control and let him know your there for him. also show compassion, kids really soak that up i mean he is only 9yrs.  Good Luck

[LRM1021]

Until you can take care of that insurance thing so you can get him some medication, call the counselor and ask what type of behavior and/or talk therapy you can do with him. Sounds like he needs medication, but medication alone is rarely ever the answer. Therapy is also required when one is depressed, and this can begin now, I would think.