Our 4 year old

[protective1]

Our four year old grandson has been physically hurt by his 4 year old cousin (much bigger). Hid mother won't do anything about it. Now our grandson is peeing behind his mothers couch to hide from his cousin. He doesn't do that at out house, his dad's house of school. His cousin has left bruises, contusions, rope burns on his arm and bite marks on him. What is our plan of action if his mother just ignores it as...its what kids do?  Our grandson asks us if his cousin is trying to kill him.....this is very frightening.

[teddybears4ever2]

You can always get the law involved.

[margypops]

I think that your grandson should not be subjected to having to be anywhere near a bully..he is being abused in my opinion and who ever is looking after him need to protect him .Speak strongly and firmly to his mom and also the child's mom .it could be that someone in his family is bullying him ...Speak out ..

[emmsalos]

I can see how you might be feeling helpless in this situation.  however is this about the child...or about the possibilliy that you don't trust your daughter inlaws own judgment of the situation.  most parents have the fuller story and are there to over see situations like these....do you not believe that your daughter is dealing with this matter appropriately ...???  something you should ask youfself.  

something that might help you .....how is your relationship with the mother.  could it be improved by offering babysitting and other ways of supporting the family.  what does your son think to the matter!?  is the father around to offer advice to help ease your mind.  helping to fill in a fuller picture.  to be part of a grandchild's life...its wise to be supportive of the mother of that child...in ways of offering help, and being there for them when things are tough.  can you offer reliable child care for both the cousins by yourself...seeing if indeed this is the way you believe it is to be.  the sure way of loosing contact with your grandchild is by upsetting the one and only mother of this child.   not a good plan.  perhaps she sees youf inquiries of the situation a way of expressing your distrust of her qualities and reliability as a mother.  its my best guess that you dont truly get along with this person or you don't share enough quality time with the family to make a full and informed judgment on the matter.  which could be easily seen and misconstrude as an interfeering mother in law or is that outlaw.   you have your part to play too in this grandchild's life, and one of thosethings is to be supportive of his mom and dad,  also by offering unconditional support.  unfortunately yes smaller children do come off worse sometimes...but hey they are 4 and badly behaved they may be but they still have a long time to learn better.   this is a phase and it will pass for both children.  but your half cocked idea of getting a plan of action together would surely loose you favour and access to this child.  who you obviously love very much indeed.  good luck with that!