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Out of control 5 yr old


For the last two years or so, my 5 yrs olds behavior has been getting progressively worse.  Usually he will do something wrong, ie, jump on the couch. The first few times, I will give him a warning. And I swear he doesnt even hear me! He keeps doing it. I say calmly, "You need to go sit in your room in timeout for jumping on the couch." he will refuse to go. So next I try, "if you do not go to your room, I will have to tv away for the day." He will still say no. Then I have to PICK him up, and place him in his room. Then, in less than a minute he will come back out, and say, "Im not going in my room. I dont care!" By this point we are both pretty frustrated. "If you do'nt go to your room and take your time out, you are going to get a spanking and then you will still have to go into your room and take your timeout." And he will come out again! And I will spank him, and he will laugh at me! Which of course, just makes me angrier. So I start the whole process over again! Sometimes it takes three hours before he will stop acting this way. And usually in the middle of that, he starts yelling things from his room, like "I hate you" "I hope you die!" "I want to die!" "you are a stinky butt!" (Or whatever he can come up with.)  and is throwing things down the hallway!
After this whole thing is over he will apologize and tell me how much he loves me and that he is sorry he was bad. Alot of times he also says, I didnt want to do it, my brain made me. I want what is best for my son. Am I doing something wrong? I had him at 14, but always had help. I am married, and my husband has been in his life since he was born, and is a great father figure. My mother has bipolar and most of my family have some type of depression. Also, he doesnt see his father (he is in jail for drugs and domestic violence). And I believe his father may have ADHD and a learning disorder. PLEASE HELP! My sanity and his future depend on it.
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Avatar universal
wow -- that sounds just like my daughter, although we have no history or any type of mood disorder in our families and both of us are in our late 30's and married.  I completely understand what you are going though.  Our dd has an appt with a behavioral/developmental pediatrician in October (earliest avail).  We tried a psychologist, and it was a waste of time.  Good luck
Helpful - 1
554880 tn?1222458740
My Daughter did the same things.  I also had her at 14 and tried to be a mother but lets face it its so hard that young. I took my daughter to the doc and she was disgnosed with ADHD they put her on meds at 5 and she was a different child. She is now 10 and off the meds and a different child. If you ever need someone to talk to send me a message. I have been there . And i promise it does get better
Helpful - 1
242606 tn?1243782648
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
It is important that you seek help. With the compromised family history, your son is at risk of having a mood disorder and you may be witnessing some of the early signs. However, even if he does not display such a disorder, you need help with management of the behavior. I know you are trying your best, but emotional maturity is an important ingredient in raising a child. He came into the world in a situation that is not anywhere mear optimum for the stability of his early life and the type of acting out you are witnessing is often what occurs when children are born to mothers who are not ready to be parents. Arrange an evaluation asap with a pediatrcv mental health professional. Make it clear that you want your son to be evaluated to determine the nature of the difficult behavior, and that you are in need of help re: managing the behavior.
Helpful - 1

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