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If you seen my question before yes my daughter does have siblings an older one she is 14 and is the polar opposite of her she is a social butterfly and a rebel. She also has a younger sister that is 5 and they don’t get along she has two step sisters in another state that she doesn’t come in contact. This helped me with the stuffed animals but she is socially awkward and is not good at making friends she has her soccer team and some other friends but she recently losted one of her best friends she’s known since 1st grade and that’s when she turned to stuffed animals the most. She also told me that one of her friends asked her out yes she is a girl no my daughter is not gay I think? She is very shy and is scared about a lot she hates height and has a lot of pet peeves for example dry skin hands on paper in general she hates when my husband bites his nails and pick is nails and finger nails I know gross. But she’s too scared to say anything and she walks away and cry’s in the bathroom she is the middle child and feels that she doesn’t get much attention and all the pressure is on her she has shared with me. She told me just a couple days ago that she wishes she had a friend with her interest that she could go stuffed animal shopping list and she found two friends one of them asked her out and the other one she has known since she was two. She wants more of those friends.  She barely pays attention and we think she has ocd everything has to be perfect in her world. She is also concerned about her weight she is 20 pounds under weight and she is very small and skinny but just has a butt like her mom lol. But she thinks that her thighs embarrass her cause all of her other soccer friends legs don’t squish when they sit. She doesn’t like bikinis either . Hates them actually hates all bathing suits she wears a swim shirt and shorts and her bathing suit under that. Is she hurt mentally I’m asking as a mom seeing my daughter who gets straight As struggling to get through middle school socially. Pls I will take any advice thank you
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
Wow, just being invited to play for a state national team is a big deal!  This also addresses one of my concerns.  She (I think) is playing for a club team.  A very good club team or she would not have been recognized.  I was worried that in playing for AYSO, you can have different teammates every year. But on a club team, you will have many of the same teammates every year.  That is what builds friendships.  And, many of those girls will also be on her highschool team.   And by the way, those soccer teammates will protect her in highschool.  Soccer is one of the most team sports out there.  You can't have a good team unless the kids are united.   She will wind up with plenty of good (and probably, life long friends).

The body image thing is just that - body image.  Which is in a way a bit funny because her body is going to really start changing soon.  And by the way, the things that apparently upset her (butt and thighs) are the things that provide her the explosive power that she must have.  If you start looking at pics of the US soccer team or really good track athletes, you are going to see butts and thighs.  And gymnasts are all thighs.  It where the power comes from.  Now, I don't think that telling her that now is probably gonna mean much.  I mean you can watch meets on tv and make subtle comments on body styles and how that translates to power.  
  Oh, I am curious, what track events does she participate in?  Many times, besides the sprint events, jump events like long jump, are favorites.

  Anyway, I also think that if she is playing at such a high level - she is also mentally tough.  She will figure this out.  8th grade will be no problem for her.

But perhaps what you can do is to simply reinforce the idea that there is a whole movement out there about women power.  Women should not have to worry about what others think about their body.  It is their body.  The should own it and love it.  So when you see the high school kids speaking out about shootings, reinforce the idea that they are doing very brave things.  They have been ripped apart by the right, and yet, they still keep on talking.

So no, I would not approach her about her body (because, I am not sure she would listen), I remember when my daughter turned 14 and became a whole different person for about 3 years.....and then just turned back into this really awesome person.    Oh, if she has had the same soccer coach for awhile and likes the coach...this is a person that can also subtly help out.  Don't be afraid to reach out to her or him.  They should understand how important a kids self esteem is.

I hope this helps!  Keep in touch :)
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Thank you so much you have helped me a lot
189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
I taught middle school for many years at all grade levels.  It can be tough for some kids trying to fit in.   Kids come from their elementary schools with friends already made and then with all the class switching, its hard to get to know kids and make friends if you only see them once a day.
Sports may be really helpful for her.  I coached soccer for lots of years.   And to still be playing at this age when many of the other girls are becoming very physical is excellent.  I am guessing she is either very fast (forward) or can run forever (mid fielder)?  Either way, you might start looking into either track or cross country for high school.  And, some middle schools have track competitions.   But both track and cross country teams in high school spend a lot of time together just sitting around and waiting for events.  Its a great way to make friends.

And as I said earlier, there may be some places she could volunteer on weekends that deal with wildlife or even just nature.  That can also be a place to find like minded individuals.   Hope this helps.
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Thank you soo much she plays defense and mid she was invited to play for the Florida national team too. She plays on middle school soccer and track when it’s in season. I’m starting to think that she doesn’t want many friends and soccer is enough.
I meant her soccer team friends is enough that’s what she has expressed to me. She is a very Athletic person my other one my five-year-old is good my 14-year-old in the rubble but she’s a social butterfly my 12-year-old to be 13-year-old is always sad and always grabs my attention but she’s like a little angel she does whatever he says I just love her to death I just don’t want anything bad to happen when she gets in high school I feel almost as she’s not ready to even reach eighth grade she hates her body she has a great body should I approach or should I not
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