4 year old with fears

[Pum]

My 4 year old has developed fears. I read on the 'net and people mention being afraid of the dark, or separation or irrational  fears. My son's fears are not irrational but I cannot expain and he cannot understand the concept of risk.  He is scared of earthquakes (they have to do earthquake drills at preschool), volcanos erupting (is the ash poisonous mummy, what will happen if it lands on our car?), tsunamis, germs, getting sick. We live in a country with volcanos so there is a lot on the news ("this volcano is heating up and will erupt soon" type stuff) or he sees a child in a newspaper with a scar on his chest and I foolishly told him the child had had an operation to fix his heart. Now if he gets any stomach pain he freaks out and says his heart is hurting.

I have been saying things like "we live a very long way from that volcano, ash wouldn't get to our house", or "I've never seen a tsunami and I've been around a very long time", or "you have a very strong healthy heart".

He is a very happy child but has always been scared of anything remotely scary on TV (we limit his viewing) compared to other children. For example when he was two he wouldn't go into another child's bedroom because they had a "Madagscar" poster on the wall and he was afraid of the Lion. He hides behind the couch if there is a crash on a Thomas video.

I'm thinking my new approach might just be to lie. "We don't get tsunamis in this country", or "the doctor told me your heart is very healthy" (not exactly a lie). I can't tell him there won't be earthquakes as we get them all the time.

He does have serious allergies but I try so hard to be cool and calm and downplay things when he gets a reaction.

Is this normal for a 4 year old? My friends have kids who can watch all sorts of videos that would upset my son and love dinosaurs and noisy things.

[jdtm]

Pum - I suspect you're dealing with anxiety - probably generalized anxiety.  If GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) is the issue, then your son's brain is hard-wired to fear things, events and people with very little reason or cause (I believe you called them irrational fears).  His brain cannot shut this off nor will reasoning solve the issue.  I would suggest you seek advice from your son's pediatrician or family doctor.  If you google the term "childhood anxiety" or phrases similar, you should be able to find information re this disorder.  By the way, if anxiety is the issue, your son will not outgrow it nor will it go away; but, anxiety in children is very highly treatable.  Often medication is one of the methods of treating this disorder; however, intervention and therapy works wonders with young children (without the use of medication).  I wish you the best ...

[Pum]

Margypop,

We don't watch the TV news but the news comes on the radio. Are you telling me most parents turn the radio news off? And of course he doesn't read the newspaper, but I do, and he sees the pictures. We don't talk about these things but they do come up more than you'd imagine. Like when people talk about dinosaurs they casually say that a meteor hit the earth and made them extinct. Then my son goes on and on about it for days worried that a meteor is heading for earth. The germ thing came from pre-school when they tell them not to share drinks.

Browneyed mama; yes he is also very attuned to adult conversations and seems to hone in on the worst bits. Doctor's surgeries are bad as they have posters with all sorts of things that make him freak out.

Thanks for the suggestions.

[browneyedmama]

i have a 4 year old daughter who sometimes goes overboard with worry as well... i wouldnt say that someone is telling her this info... i think she overhears it.we do watch the news once in a while... but she isnt sitting there infront on the tv watching it with us. my daugther is VERY observant and ahead of other kids her age. shes very intune with adult conversation. kids hear everything... and of course they replay it in their minds over and over. there is only so much we can protect our kids from.
to Pum... i would suggest taking your son to the doctors to "confirm" that his heart is indeed healthy. it might make him feel better knowing that its coming from someone else. i really think that its just a stage and he will grow out of it. but again.... mention all of this to your doctor and see what he/she says.

[margypops]

Who is bringing up these scary subjects in the first place does a 4 year old really read the Newspaper,Do you and Family read and discuss scary stuff in front of him or TV news on all the time?Sounds like someone is doing an overkill job on things he doesnt need to know at 4 and doesnt understand.