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722480 tn?1230869494

Signs of abuse?

My 26 month old grandson sometimes wakes up from a nap crying hysterically, unconsolably for his father when his father is at work. His father pays very little attention to him, and has no patience with him. Sometimes when his father puts him in time out....they do not spank...he will cry hysterically and hyperventilate. Then afterwards he will be very clingy to his father. My daughter and her husband are perpetually at war and not a happy couple at all. We have tried to talk with them and have asked them to please refrain from fighting in front of their son. The child is really a happy, very loving well behaved little boy. Which makes this behavior so out of place and uncharacteristic for him. His father has adult ADD and has tried to get on medicine, but "doesn't like the way it makes him feel". They are expecting their 2nd child in Janurary, another boy.
My husband and I wonder why this otherwise happy child behaves this way. Is this behavior a sign, or should we be worried that he is being abused by his father? My daughter has not worked and has been able to be a stay at home mom since he was born.
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Avatar universal
I dont know if I would say signs of abuse. I am not an expert though. What may be happening is that the child feels "abandonment" when the father doesnt have patience for him. Some children cling to the stricter parent because they feel safer with the parent that gives more boundaries and limits.

I am not sure which is stricter your daughter or the father, but that may be the reason why the child cries for the father. Maybe the dad used to hold him alot and is trying to get him off of expecting that? How is the mother/father relationship? Is the mom always jumping in to save the child?

Also the fighting in front of the child probably has some effect also, and the fact the father has ADD factors in also. The meds he may have to take may not sit well with him and he may have to find another alternative, but I would not fault him for saying the meds dont make him feel right. Different people's bodies react to meds different ways.

They most likely need family counseling. But my suggestion to you would be to passively suggest certain things. But try not to get in the way too much because the father may be less receptive to listen to your point of view if you come at him the wrong way. I deal with the same thing with my mother in law where her opinion is always given and now I dont listen to her much.

Take the passive role. If you see obvious signs of abuse such as bruises or things like that, then yes be very worried. But the fact that they seem to have a turmoil driven household, there are alot of other factors that can be at play rather than abuse.
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722480 tn?1230869494
Sorry....I didn't mean to post this again!! oops!
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