THIS CHILD NEEDS A DIAGNOSIS

[LOVE_CASA]

I AM A CHILD ADVOCATE FOR A SIX YEAR OLD BLACK FEMALE.  THIS CHILD HAS BEEN IN THE CUSTODY OF HER CURRENT FOSTER AND PERSPECTIVE ADOPTIVE PARENT FOR 4 YRS.  THE PARENT OF THIS CHILD ABUSED DRUGS AND ALCOHOL HER ENTIRE ADULT LIFE AND WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BI-POLAR DISORDER AND COMITTED SUISIDE.  THIS CHILD WAS BORN WITH FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME AND SHORTLY AFTER BIRTH HER MOTHER BECAME PREGNANT.  THIS CHILD WAS LEFT FOR THE FIRST YEAR OF LIFE IN HER CRIB RARELY EXPERIENCING TOUCH OR A BOND FROM HER MOTHER.  WHEN DYFS FOUND HER SHE WAS IN HER CRIB WITHOUT A DIAPER AND WASTE CAKED EVERYWHERE.  SHE IS NOW 6 AND WE ARE TRYING TO FACILITATE ADOPTION BUT THAT CAN'T HAPPEN UNTIL HER SOCIAL AND BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS ARE DIAGNOSED.  SHE HAS HAD MULTIPLE EVALS BUT NO DIAGNOSIS.  SHE HAS ISSUSES WITH WETTING AND POOPING HER PANTS.  SOMETIMES SHE'LL BE SITTING AND ROCKING OR TWITCHING HER FOSTER WILL ASK HER IF SHE NEEDS TO GO IF NOT ASKED A THESE TIMES SHE WILL MESS HERSELF.  SHE MIMICS OTHER KIDS THERE BEHAVIOR, SPEECH, ATTITUDES IT'S ALMOST AS IF SHE HAS NO PERSONALITY THAT IS HER OWN.  AT SCHOOL SHE LEARNS VERY SLOW AND IS BEING RETAINED IN KINDERGARTON THIS YEAR.  AT SCHOOL SHE HAS PROBLEMS DURING THE QUIET TIMES OF THE DAY AND WILL GET UP AND START WONDERING AROUND THE ROOM.  WHEN TOLD TO GET A BOOK OUT OFTEN SHE WILL SAY SHE CAN'T FIND IT WITHOUT LOOKING,  THE TEACHER WILL GET IT OUT ASND THEN SHE ACTS OUT IN WHAT SEEMS TO BE EMBARRISMENT.  IF YOU ASK HER A QUESTION SHE WILL LOOK FOR HER SIBLINGS FOR ANSWERS. THEY TO HAVE ISSUSES AND HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH ADD,ADHD, BI-POLAR DISORDER, DISASOCIATIVE DISORDER, ANXIETY AND OTHER THINGS.  SHE ALSO HAS A HARD TIME HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS AND OFTEN WILL START LOOKING AROUND THE ROOM MAKING ODD BODY, AND FACIAL GESTURES AND SQUIRMING ALOT.  WHEN SHE IS AROUND CERTAIN PEOPLE SHE WILL ACT AS IF SHE IS A BABY PRETEND CRYING, CRAWLING AND LAYING ON THE FLOOR AND WANTS TO BE HANDLED LIKE A BABY FROM THEM.  SHE SEEMS TO BE UNMEANINGLY MANIPULATIVE AS SHE PUTS ON A DIFFERENT FACE FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE.  THE FOSTER LOVES THIS GIRL VERY MUCH AND NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS CHILD SO SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HER ONGOING NEEDS.  ALSO THIS CHILD STILL HAS TANTRUMS AND TROUBLE BONDING.  SHE DOESN'T LIVE WITH HER SIBLING BUT SEES THEM REGULARLY AND HAS NO REAL BOND WITH THEM.  THEY TAKE ON THE PARENTING ROLE AND ARE VERY PROTECTIVE OF HER AND HAVE ASKED WHY IS SHE SO DIFFERENT.  PLEASE HELP ME HELP THIS FAMILY  ALSO IT SEEMS AS THOUGH SHE CAN'T FIND THE WORDS FOR SOMTHINGS EVEN THOUGH KNOW SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE NEEDS OR WANTS AND BECOMES VERY ANGRY.  ITS LIKE THEY ARE LOST IN HER BRAIN.   THANKS CASA VOLUNTEER

[margypops]

There may be help here in the US, what country are you from, your profile doesnt tell us anything,if you want good advice it would be helpful to know more.

[Sally44]

There could be all kinds of problems going on.  Fetal alcohol syndrome is a diagnosis.  However she should also be seen by a speech and language therapist to assess her own speech abilities and her ability to follow language (as you say she appears to forget familiar words, doesn't respond to directions/questions etc).  The speech therapist should also assess her working memory, auditory memory, social skills etc.  A clinical psychologist should assess her emotional responses and understanding, her cognitive ability, her bonding issues etc.
Depending on what they find she may also need assessment by an Occupational Therapist.  
This child may also have difficulties with executive functions (google that to see what they are).
You don't say what country you are in, but these assessments should be happening as standard, especially as she is being fostered/adopted.

[slf647]

I ahve one exactly like her with same issues she is 9  I love her and want the best for her but no one seems to know what to do. I also need help and am ready to throw in the towel

[Agiesmom]

Isn't Fetal Alcohol Syndrome a diagnosis?

I'm not sure where you are, but I would think that if she's in the foster care system, they would be getting a diagnosis and also putting a treatment plan into place with follow-up (meetings to discuss therapy, progress, etc.).