Very disturbed....

[Victoria1762]

My 2 year old has a regular playdate with a friends 2 year old, they play together very well (they are both almost 3) the trouble I have is that my daughters playmate has an older sister who is 5 and on 2 seperate occasions she has very disturbingly attacked my daughter. Today she scratched her face, chest and neck badly drawing blood in all areas, when I heard my daughter screaming the 5 year old was on top of her beating her. The mother of this child was in my house at the time and did not punish the child at all for the behaviour. I am most disturbed, my daughter was hysterical, when I asked the girl why she had done this she said my daughter was sat in her place. This is the 2nd time in 2 weeks she has attacked my daughter, the first attack was a bit and a tug of hair. Any suggestions why this childs acts out this way and if her mother doesn't dscipline her how should I react if this happens again.

[Victoria1762]

My daughters face, neck and chest are a mess today, 7 scratches on her face, from 2 hands on both cheeks, down her neck on one side and across her chest on the other....., torn skin. And although I agree this is not too uncommon in ages 18mths-3, this child is 5 and they were on their own for less than a minute. If this were the first incident then maybe I would give her the benefit of doubt, but it is our second in a couple of weeks and more than pinching, shoving etc, it is very physical.

I will take margypops and Rockrose advice and seek another playmate.
I will however speak to their mom
Thanks for your imput, its appreciated, I understand where your coming from.

[fightingwithspoons]

Some children don't have good social skills, OBVIOUSLY.  My son is only 3 but he went through a stage where he would fight his best friend almost every time we were together for like 2 months.  His best friend is a year older than him and twice the size but my son would push him down or pinch him in the tummy...stuff like that and always make his friend cry.  I never let him get away with it, he was put on time outs and disciplined but he would still fight his friend the next time we would see them.  Eventually he just stopped doing it.  Repetition of knowing he will get in trouble might have put an end to that, or maybe he just grew out of it.  You know...maybe you're doing this friend of yours a favor by having your children around hers.  They need to learn social skills...They will learn eventually that there are certain ways to behave but their parents need to help them figure that out.  You should have a talk with the mom

[Victoria1762]

I didn't feel it appropriate in front of the child to question the mothers discipline skills, I didn't handle it well either as I have never been in a situation like this before, I was so shocked and unprepared for it, they were all playing so well just before it happened, it totally came from nowhere.

[margypops]

There will be plenty of other children for your daughter to play with, the other child will continue to do this and her younger sister will copy as they do, possibly the 5 year old witnesses fighting within her Family and is doing the same ,quite often it is learned behavior.

[91004]

Have you asked your friend why she don't punish the girl, if the childs mother don't respond I would punish the girl myself.

[Victoria1762]

Your absolutly right, thanks for the advice, there can't be a next time....This will unfortunately mean that she doesn't get to play with her 2 year old playmate, the 2 sisters are inseperable, the mother has them do everything together, we will look for another playmate.

[RockRose]

If she's actually drawing blood and hair as you say,  it's time to call it quits with socializing with them.   You could decide just to invite the 2 year old over for a playdate,  but it's inappropriate for the 5 year old to have unsupervised contact with your daughter since she attacks her.  

If the mother didn't react strongly,  and seem very upset by this behavior,  this is this child's usual behavior.  

This is so hard to reject this girl,  but really,  enough is enough.

Best wishes.