What do i do about my 10 year old brother?

[elnleah]

      I have a 4 year old daughter, she just turned four 2 weeks ago. She had a hickey on her neck and I asked her how she got it. She mentioned that my youngest brother who is 10 years old bit her on the neck. I kept on asking her more questions and she told me that she had been under a blanket with him in their bedroom and he started kissing her on the lips the cheeks and bit her on the neck. She also went along and explained how she was laying on top of him as he was touching her pee pee and booty (with her clothes and the way she described it was that he touched her how you would feel how soft a blanket is-a full hand rub- Not to gentle not too rough).

Now when I asked my brother about this he completely denied it. He had a serious face and said that she had lied about everything. But before I told him anything he had said that they were playing hidding from my other brother under a blanket (which was the exact same senario my daughter explained). Just to clear things up, my middle brother and younger brother share a room. Also my middle brother was in the room at the time.

I know for a fact my daughter is saying the truth. My daughter doesnt lie about things like that. She doesnt watch adult TV to be able to be familiar with something like that. I dont have a boyfriend so she couldnt see me doing anything. She and i have a very close relationship and she trusts me very much. I wonder if she didnt tell me beforehand because she didnt think there was anything wrong with that behavior.

Now my situation is that i'm living at home finishing up to go to med school. I live with my parents and 3 brothers along with my daughter of course. My father spoke to my brother and reassured me that he didnt mean to hurt her and he didnt know he was doing anything wrong. Now my question is if there wasnt anything wrong in his eyes why is it that they were hiding under the covers? His attitude completely shows that he is lying. I know my brother, i raised them! I would know! I explained to my daughter that it's wrong and peope shouldnt kiss her and bite her anywhere. She already knew that its wrong for people to touch her pee pee and her booty. Now i'm currently looking for a place to stay because as much as I would like to trust that my brother wouldn't do it again I cant leave room for error. Now I'm scared that my daughter will be curious about this. How do i approach this? I also don't want to leave my brother alone because i'm scared theres something going on with him. Has this happened to him? Where did he see this? Why is he doing this to her? He has a history of being perverted not in an adult sense but always making reference to someones balls, he's constantly targetting my other brothers genital area whether it's a punch or a kick... etc. UGH I'm so destraught! This happened to me when I was the exact same age by my older cousin. I feel so guilty! The sad thing is that my daughter sees this as something "cool" because he pretended to be her boyfriend. She watches a lot of princess shows and they all want her prince charming. UGH! Guys help me! what do i do?

My daughter randomly told me today "Mommy i am not going to let Charly kiss my lips anymore, okay? if he does it i will tell him no!" Now can i safely assume that he's done this more than once? I unfortunatly work and go to school so much that she's home the majority of the time. I am not going to school this semester to afford a place. I'm putting her back in daycare and starting fresh. Please help me, I want both of them to grow up healthy. If you have any questions on my brothers behavior or attitude ask away.
He's 10, the youngest, spoiled and favored by my mom, has anger problems, most popular kid at school, plays video games so much... just ask please

[ROSYouralright]

I know this is an older post but I just happened upon it. I'm hoping you are still around?? Do u have an update? How are things going now? This is an extremely difficult situation because BOTH children are so young and you want to help them both! I believe it's your parents responsibility to take this situation more seriously!! If he's done it once what's to stop him from doing it again?? This issue definitely needs to be addressed with him and he needs to understand how serious of an offence this was! Their has to be consequences for inappropriate behavior or how else will he learn?? Its not Ok and he needs to KNOW that! I worry about his future if he's not stopped and taught correctly NOW before he does irreparable damage and gets into serious trouble!

[gitsum]

if he's the most popular kid in school she should consider herself lucky. but seriously, what they did was illegal, and certainly won't help your daughters sexuality when she grows up. they both need to understand how serious it is. i'm not old fashioned in the sense that i would agree on spanking a child, but when it comes to something so serious, and considering his other behavior, i would recommend sending him somewhere.

also if your daughter doesn't want it, then i assume it won't happen, but to be safe tell her to kick him in the balls if he tries it again. if it does happen again, i would get the authorities involved. also, i know she might be far too young, but i would recommend giving your daughter the bird and the bees talk, or at least tell her about love and tell her those things should only happen with somebody she loves and trusts and has known for a long time.

[elnleah]

Thank you Annie, i'll keep that in mind. Its a very devastating situation for me. I'd like to help both of them not just one. Thank you for your input

[AnnieBrooke]

I believe you and believe your daughter.  Look for another place, put her into day care, and tell your parents that you really cannot have him in the same room alone with her, or in a room alone with her except for other children.

I don't know why he would be like this, it is certainly possible that he has been inappropriately touched.  But your prime duty now is to your daughter.  It is likely your parents won't take this seriously so you have to.

Hire a babysitter for any time you will be away and tell her that her main job is to keep the 10-year-old from being away alone with your daughter.

Tell your daughter that it's time to have the fun adventure of having your own place, once you find one.  Don't tell her until you do, so she does not associate it with the activity with your brother.

[elnleah]

I also know how to question children. I didnt ask any leading questions, i didnt show any emotions of fear or anger, and i never made her feel that she or my brother were going to get in trouble. So i know i didnt plant any ideas in her head