Whats wrong with my daughter?

[Darick]

I need help to determine whether or not my daughter needs medical help or is just being a 4 year old. She is overall a very well behaved, well mannered 4 year old. However there are times when that COMPLETELY changes.  In the last several months she has started getting into these fits or tantrums, but they are very extreme. The first one was when it was time for us to leave an amusement park.  When we started getting our things together to leave she started freaking out. She starts this grunting sound and fast breathing. She hides her hands behind her back so we can not get a coat on her and crosses her legs so we cant get her shoes back on her. She flails her arms and legs and tries pushing away when you try and pick her up.  When we put her down in her car seat she tries to rip out of the seat belt. Again while making this grunting sound, similar to a pig. This has since happened when we: Started to leave grandpas house to come home, Told her she needed to change clothes before we left the house, When the game was over and it was time to go home, When it was time to leave the birthday party and come home. I know that all kids don’t WANT to leave but this is a VERY extreme behavior unlike any other kids in our family and unlike any I have ever seen. It seems to be happening more frequently now and can’t just be the “going home” factor because it happened when we were trying to leave the house and told her to change her clothes. The weird thing about it is almost immediately even on the drive home it just turns off and she wants to hug and snuggle and acts like a complete angel as if nothing has happened. As punishment we have tried to take away toys and things she likes to do. But when we do that she helps us take the stuff out of her room and says she has been bad so she can’t play with her toys anymore. Like losing privileges and activities don’t even bother her. Any ideas or thoughts?


Thanks

[coolas]

It sounds like a big ole tantrum to me.  Some kids are more extreme and have more will than others.  Sounds like you are going to have your hands full!  I think it's normal that she is an angel after the fact; she has released all of her frustration and probably wants to make nice.  Don't give into the tantrums!  Pay as little attention as you possible can whilst getting her ready to leave - don't feed into them!

Good luck!

[Athena_M]

She needs what experts call "Transitional warnings".  Make sure you give her several warnings ahead of time.  Like we are leaving in 10 minutes, we are leaving in 5 minutes.  You can even get her a litle digital watch so that she can see the time.  Give her something to look forward to also.  Like when we leave grandmas house we are going to get an ice cream.  
Maybe like my 5 year old she is sensitive and acts out because of sugar or red dye.  My son is sensitive to those things and has behavior problems when he eats those things.  

[specialmom]

We use a clock-------  either on a phone or if there is one where we are at.  I say when the clock gets to this number, we are leaving.  Then I give warnings that it is getting close.  I have two boys and one has a developmental delay called sensory integration disorder and another that does not----------  this works for both.  

Agreed, don't pay too much attention to a tantrum over leaving.  Also, don't worry about other people looking--------  everyone has had their humbling parent moment too.  good luck