Why does my child keep wetting and soling herself?

Question

My 11 year old daughter has some toilet troubles. She has been tested for multiple things, like bladder problems extra, but they were all clear. I think there is a chance she might of forgotten a bit of potty training. We taught her very well, but she has trouble getting to the toilet on time and has accidents every day. This is a new thing, a few months ago it started. She isn't doing this on purpose! We have put her in some sanitary towels sometimes, but those don't really work for messes and a lot of wetness. I am thinking about some pull ups maybe, but she really hates the idea of wearing nappies.  She wets and occasionally messes the bed, so we do make her wear goodnites to bed, so there isn't any messy bed covers in the morning. She doesn't like wearing them though. She does find them comfy, but has said that she doesn't want to go to a sleepover for example and need to wear them to bed and an adult to change her in the morning. Well, she can change her goodnites herself, but it's easier if I clean her up a bit. Of course there won't be any sleepovers anytime soon due to the virus.  I don't know what to do, is nappies a good idea? If I get nappies for her, should she change them herself? Or should I maybe. do it and get a changing table? Silly, really. She isn't a baby. Thank you!

mirjanamia · Answer

That's totally understandable

WandaLerbosi · Answer

I would explain to her that it is simply a tool and not a punishment but just using diapers is easier for the time being until you figure something out. Especially talk to her about sexual abuse/trauma because that is often cause of regression

KeriBeir · Answer

The part that stands out to me is the sudden onset at 11 years old. Has she been through anything traumatic? How is she emotionally coping with covid? Regressive bedwetting and soiling is often a sign of trauma, especially sexual abuse. IS that something you guys have discussed, or discuss regularly? Does she know about good touch bad touch, etc.?

specialmom · Answer

Ahh, I understand.  Your poor girl!  She certainly doesn't like this either!  So, there is something that can happen to kids called encorpresis.  https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/encopresis#1  It's a constipation that happens that has things that result from it that include soiling.  Basically a kid has a hard time then telling when they have to go.  The signal is not happening correctly.  It also hurts to go.  And it is hard to go.  That is something to talk to your doctor about.  Urinating at night is actually not as uncommon as you think for kids up to your daughters age, up to 9 percent of kids do it.  This is new though.  So, I'd talk to your doctor about this as well.  I had a son that began wetting his bed after starting a new school.  We talked to his doctor who thought it was a combination of being over tired and stress.  We worked on bedtime about 15 minutes to 20 minutes early and tried to reduce stress.  The bedwetting stopped.  It also, not to scare you, can be a sign of sexual abuse having happened.  I would talk to your doctor about this as well.  If she has had a uti of any sort which kids can get, that needs to be treated.  At this point, she can be like an adult that wears adult diapers.  You buy them, tell her where they are and she puts them on and takes them off and cleans herself up.  Trying not to embarrass her and working through it is important.  Let me know how it goes.